Bad Timing
by headoverhook
Summary: "Really? Me too." Mark is determined to find out why Lexie acted so weird. COMPLETE
1. Beer and Tequila

**I'm back. :D**

**Apparently we have to suffer a lot more until Shonda decides that we suffered enough and gives us our couple back. So I figured we all might need a little more M/L than we are currently getting on the show. Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: Beer and Tequila <strong>

It'd been one week since they separated the twins. One week since Lexie made that comment to him while he was talking with Julia on the phone.

_Me too._

Me too? How could she drop a bomb like that? Why now?

He couldn't get it out of his head. Lexie had plainly told him that she had wished she could have been with him in the OR and he couldn't figure out what had happened that she suddenly seemed to miss him. Didn't Avery make her happy any more?

Mark's thoughts were interrupted by Derek as he sat down on the bar stool next to him, ordering a beer before he turned around.

"You wanted to talk to me? What's up? You sounded serious."

Mark fumbled at the label of his own beer bottle, suddenly uncertain if he should ask Derek about Lexie. He told Lexie that he let her go. Maybe he should just drop it. But there was a nagging voice in the back of his head that wouldn't shut up.

"It's … It's kind of weird. But I have to ask you. I just need to know. Is everything okay with Lexie?"

"Why do you ask?" Derek looked at him slightly surprised. The only thing Mark had talked about in the last couple of weeks was Julia. Since Mark let Lexie go she came barely up in their conversations anymore. Derek wondered what happened that Mark was interested in Lexie again.

"I don't know. Something is off. It was something she said to me after we separated the twins and I can't get it out of my head." Mark replied tiredly. He hadn't slept well the last days. His mind didn't want to give him any rest.

"Well, maybe she still needs to get her footing back after the break-up." Derek explained, slightly worried when he looked closely in Mark's face. He looked awful. His shirt was rumpled, his beard wasn't trimmed and his hair stood in all directions as if someone just dragged him through a hedge.

"Break-up?" Mark almost choked on his beer. Derek couldn't mean what he thought he meant. It couldn't be.

"Jackson and she broke up." Derek told him, getting even more worried when he saw how pale Mark suddenly was.

"What? When?" Mark asked with a trembling voice.

"You didn't know about it?" Derek was stunned. He didn't expect that Mark didn't know about the break-up. Half of the hospital was talking about it. How Mark managed to remain clueless was beyond him.

"No. I had no idea. When did that happen?" Mark asked.

"It was shortly after the baseball game. Remember the heart in the box?"

"Of course."

"She and I worked together trying to convince Justine Campbell to let me do the surgery. I remember that Lexie was pretty worked up about the book Mrs. Campbell was writing. Maybe you should talk to her. I can call her and ask her if she could speak to you if you want."

Apparently Mark needed some answers. Looking at his best friend, Derek realized that Mark never stopped loving Lexie. He tried to move on but whatever happened with Lexie it had been enough to get Mark all worked up.

"I definitely have to find out what's wrong and I can't get a hold of Lexie no matter how hard I try. So yeah. I would very much appreciate it."

~M&L~

The moment Meredith entered the house she could hear the loud music that came out of the living room. When she walked around the corner she could see Lexie sitting on the couch, a half empty bottle of Tequila on the table in front of her.

"Hey sister." Lexie said, her words already slightly slurred.

"What happened?" Meredith asked curiously. Maybe it was in their genes, but every time Lexie or she got out the tequila bottle something serious had happened. Lexie wanted to forget something. Tequila and a Grey couldn't mean anything else.

"I made a fool of myself." Lexie leaned forward and refilled her glass.

"Stop. I want a shot too. Judging by your state I might need one."

Meredith walked to the couch and sat down beside Lexie. Lexie filled another glass and both sisters downed it. Lexie looked at her sister and without saying anything she poured another round. Without asking Meredith also downed the second shot. There was definitely something wrong.

"Lexie, come on. There must be a reason why you are sitting here with a bottle of Tequila."

"I talked to Mark." Lexie told her, averting her gaze.

"Really?" Meredith asked surprised. Lexie had hardly spoke to him over the last months and she was curious to find out what had changed that Lexie talked to him again.

"Did I ever tell you about Justine Campbell?" Lexie asked her out of the blue.

"Derek told me that she was writing on a book and that you helped her out."

"Yeah, I did." Lexie replied quietly. Meredith looked at her more closely. There was definitely more behind that story.

"I'm sensing that there is more to it than I first thought."

"A lot more. I … in the book a woman has to choose between two men. Nathan and Alexander. Nathan would be the better choice. He is perfect." Lexie said.

Meredith could hear in Lexie's voice that she had a hard time to hold her tears in check and it dawned on her what this was all about.

"But she chose Alexander." Meredith spoke into the silence.

"How do you know?" Lexie asked surprised.

"It's obvious. You never choose the perfect guy. Perfect isn't what you are falling in love with. Perfect is boring. Look at Derek and me. If he would have wanted perfect we never would have ended up being married to each other."

"I know. But why does it have to hurt so much?" A lonely tear slid down Lexie's cheek and she whipped it away angrily.

"Wait a sec. You are talking about Mark now, right?" Meredith asked.

"Yes, I'm talking about Mark. It's always Mark. Damn it. No matter how hard I try, no matter how much he hurt me, no matter how much I hurt him, I can't stop wanting him. Only him." Lexie almost shouted out.

"You love him." Meredith stated calmly.

"But I don't want to love him." Lexie replied angrily.

"You don't have a say in that matter, Lexie. I could have told you before that Jackson and you wouldn't work out."

"So why didn't you?" Lexie asked desperately.

"You wouldn't have listened. It would have been pointless. So just tell me. What got you so worked up?"

"Remember a week ago when we separated the twins?"

"Of course." Meredith replied.

"I walked by Mark and he said that he wished I could have been with him in the OR today. I didn't think twice. I was just so relieved that he felt the same way. So I told him that I wished it too. But he wasn't talking to me. He was talking to Julia."

"I'm sorry, Lexie."

"No need to be sorry. It's my own fault. I'm just pathetic. That's all." Lexie said, downing another shot of Tequila.

"That's not pathetic."

"How would you describe it then?" Lexie asked.

"You want him back. You love him. You are in love with him. Nothing wrong about that."

"Oh, there is so much wrong about that. But I don't want to talk about it anymore. Let's just kill the rest of the bottle and maybe open another one. Okay?"

"Okay."

~M&L~

"Hey, I'm Dr. Mark Sloan. We talked on the phone earlier." Mark explained to Justine after he drove half an hour to talk to her about Lexie.

"Of course. Come on in." Justine replied softly.

Justine opened the door and let him in, pointing in the direction of her living room. When she followed him she thought to herself how handsome this exemplar of a man was. Derek had already told her that he wanted to see her because of Lexie. She was curious what this was all about. Even though she didn't spend that much time with her, Lexie was already dear to her heart. She knew that Lexie was struggling with her feelings. She was pretty certain that the man in front of her had something to do with it.

"Can I get you something. Coffee, maybe?" Justine asked him, after he got settled on the couch.

"Coffee would be great. Thanks. I feel like the only thing that keeps me sane lately is caffeine." Mark replied.

"Excuse me?" Justine asked surprised.

"Not important. I was just talking to myself." Mark told her.

"Okay. It'll only take a minute."

Mark shifted nervously on the couch. He wasn't sure that he had made the right choice. Talking to a complete stranger about Lexie. But before he could change his mind and disappear silently, Justine returned with two coffees in her hands.

"So what do you want to talk about?" Justine asked him, after she gave him his cup of coffee and sat down opposite to him on a chair.

"It might be an odd question but I need to ask you something about Lexie. I mean Dr. Grey." Mark jumped right into it. He didn't see the point in making small talk. He was only here for one reason. Better get it over with as quick as possible.

"Yeah, I remember her pretty well. Nice girl. So what do you wanna know?" Justine asked. She was well aware that he felt uncomfortable. But she could also sense that he desperately needed some answers.

"Derek, Dr. Shepherd, told me that Lexie was pretty upset about the book you were writing. Can you tell me what this was all about?"

"Why do you wanna know?" Justine was pretty certain she knew the reason but he wanted him to say it out loud.

"She's just acting weird lately and I'm … I just want to know if she is okay. I'm concerned." Mark replied quietly.

Justine could see the turmoil that was going on inside of him in his eyes. This man definitely had feelings for Lexie and seeing the distress that flickered over his face, she suddenly realized who this man in front of her was.

"Ohh, now I understand. You must be Alexander." Justine didn't intend to spill it out, but the realization that this man had to be the man Lexie was deeply in love with just surprised her a little bit.

"Aehmm, actually my name is Mark. Not Alexander." Mark replied confused.

"Sorry, I know." Justine said. She had prepared a copy of her book for the man who was Lexie's Alexander. She didn't know why she had been so sure that he would show up on her doorstep. She had just known that he would come eventually. "Wait a second. I have something for you."

Mark looked confused after her as she left the room, but his confusion got even bigger when she returned with a book in her hand. She put it down on the table and pushed it in his direction.

"You want me to read a novel? A romance novel?" Mark asked her disbelievingly.

"Don't sound so shocked! Believe me. You really need to read it. This is an advanced copy. I even made some comments for you at the end. I had a feeling that you would come here eventually."

"Why? I don't understand. How could you know that I would come visit you?" Mark was totally stunned.

"Just read it Dr. Sloan. I think you deserve to know the truth and Lexie is apparently too scared to tell you. So you'll get the book instead. If you have any questions afterwards I'll be happy to answer them."

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><p><strong>What should I say? I just miss them sooooo much on-screen and Shonda just doesn't deliver so I have to make up my own ML story. :D**


	2. Desperation and an epiphany

**Wow, I never expected such a great response only after one chapter. So thanks to all of you who left a review (I love to read them) and to everyone who alerted this story. To be honest I'm a little scared that I can't live up to all your expectations but I'll try my best. Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: Desperation and an epiphany<strong>

"Wheew, what happened to you two?" Derek stopped dead in his tracks when he entered the kitchen. He looked amused from Meredith to Lexie who were both sitting at the kitchen counter, each with a steaming cup of coffee before them.

"Arghhh, no yelling!" Meredith groaned, closing her eyes against the bright light.

"What did you do last night?" Derek asked quietly, so his first question hadn't been that loud but he could see that both sisters looked like they were having a hell of a headache judging by the way they were holding their heads between their hands.

"Tequila." Meredith replied with a throaty voice.

"Oh, I see. You should know that drinking coffee isn't the wisest idea when you have a hangover." Derek explained, so he was pretty certain that they both knew that their headache would get even worse if they didn't drink some water soon.

"Don't care. I need caffeine. Just give me another Advil please." Meredith hold a hand out towards Derek and he went over to the medicine cabinet to get the pain killers.

"Me too." Lexie lifted her head briefly before she lay it back on her crossed arms.

"So can one of you tell me what happened that you needed to get out the tequila bottle?" Derek asked, dropping the pills on the table.

"Men." Lexie mumbled groggily, opening one eye to give Derek a reproachful look.

"Men?" Derek asked curiously and Lexie propped herself up on one elbow, gulping the pill down with her coffee before she answered Derek.

"Yeah, men. You can't live with them but you can't live without them either."

"Do you mean all men in general or was it someone particular who pissed you off?" Derek inquired, looking expectantly at Lexie.

"Do you really have to ask, Derek? I thought I married a smart guy." Meredith told her husband.

"I didn't even know that she is seeing someone new." Derek defended himself.

"Really? You have really no idea about whom we are talking?" Meredith looked at Lexie and rolled her eyes. "Men!"

"Hey, how am I supposed to know? No one told me!" Derek insisted, slightly affronted because he had no clue what he'd done to deserve this generalization.

"Maybe because he is your best friend?" Meredith clued him in and Derek eyes widened with surprise when the penny finally dropped.

"Mark? She is talking about Mark?" He asked disbelievingly.

"Yes, of course." Meredith said as if he should really have known about it.

"But …" Derek looked back at Lexie, suddenly realizing what an idiot he had been. "Oh my god, Lexie. I'm sorry."

"Why should you be sorry? Derek, what did you do?" Meredith asked, her eyes wandering from Lexie to Derek, trying to figure out what they were talking about.

"Aehmm, I started a poll in the OR asking about who likes Julia. But Lex, I swear I had no idea that you have still feelings for Mark." Derek stated guiltily.

"Derek, how could you?" Meredith exclaimed, looking accusingly at her husband. "Even if you thought that Lexie wouldn't care you never do such a thing in front of the ex."

"Never mind. Maybe I deserve it. I was the one who pushed him away. He is just doing what I've told him to. I can't complain about that now, can I?" Lexie told them, the hurt and despair written all over her face.

"You are still in love with him?" Derek asked, so he was aware that it was more of a rhetorical question. Now that he looked closer he could see that she didn't look only hungover but also crushed.

"Yes, Derek, I am and I'm afraid that will never change so I just have to live with the fact that he isn't in love with me anymore." Lexie stood up from her chair and rubbed her hand tiredly over her face. "You know what. I'm going back to bed."

Lexie scuffled out of the kitchen and Derek stared after her until he could hear her bed room door.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Derek said, turning around to his wife.

"What do you mean?" Meredith asked.

"I spoke to Mark last night. He looked awful." Derek clarified.

"Did you find out why?" Meredith stood up and walked over to him. Wrapping an arm around his waist, she lay her head against his chest.

"Yes, he told me."

"And?"

"He's worried about Lexie." Derek replied softly, dropping a kiss on her forehead.

"He's worried about Lexie? That's a good sign, right?" Meredith said, forgetting her headache for a moment.

"Definitely. I think it's mutual."

"You think he is still in love with Lexie?" Meredith asked him excitedly.

"She is the love of his life. How should he be able to stop loving her? I know I never stopped loving you." Derek told her, lowering his head to brush a kiss over her lips.

"I know." Meredith sighed. "Let's just hope that Mark and Lexie find their way back to each other like we did."

~M&L~

"Dr. Sloan. That was fast." Justine said surprised when she opened the door to a tired-looking Mark.

"I didn't sleep last night." He confirmed her suspicion.

"So I guess you have some questions?" Justine asked him. She knew that he would come back. She just didn't expect him that soon.

"Plenty." Mark stifled a yawn and Justine waved him inside.

"Okay, you know your way to the living room. I'll make coffee. You look like you need it."

As Justine returned she found Mark almost laying flat on her couch, one arm over his eyes. Every muscle of him screamed exhaustion and she wondered if he was aware how much his actions were revealing his feelings. She was tempted to let him fall asleep but his rigid form told her that he wouldn't get any proper rest until he got the answers he was looking for. She cleared her throat quietly and Mark startled slightly. Sitting up he thanked her for the coffee and rubbed his other hand over his eyes.

"So what do you think after you've read it?" Justine started the conversation, knowing that it would be difficult to get him to open up and realizing his own feelings.

"I'm confused." Mark took a sip of the coffee, grateful that it seemed to be an extra strong one. He could need all the caffeine he could get to stay awake.

"Didn't surprise me. Why are you confused?"

"You called me Alexander yesterday." Mark put the coffee on the table in front of him, starting with the topic that had shaken him the most last night.

"I did." Justine confirmed, saying nothing else, determined to let him find his own way through his questions.

"You meant the Alexander of the book, didn't you?" Mark asked for clarification. He needed to hear it from another person before he could really accept it.

"Yes. I meant the Alexander of the book."

"So if I understood Derek correctly Lexie typed for you while you told her the story, right?" Mark asked, starting at the beginning. He had a flood of questions so he needed to ask them in some kind of order so that he wouldn't forget important ones.

"That is correct, Dr. Sloan." Justine said calmly, trying to give Mark some reassurance to continue. Kind of being his shrink without actually being one.

"Call me Mark, please."

"Okay. But only if you call me Justine."

"Why was she so upset about the book?" Mark asked one of his most burning questions.

"First off, I feel the need to explain why I'm talking to you about something you should clearly talk about with Lexie. I didn't want to betray her trust, but ..." Justine stopped briefly. She wanted to make clear to him that Lexie's well being was her priority.

"Yes?"

"I think she could need all the help she can get and I can see that you clearly care deeply for her. She needs you even though she doesn't want to admit how much. So to answer your question. I think you know why she was so upset about the book."

"I … please tell me that it's not what I'm thinking it is." Mark replied pleadingly and Justine could see in his eyes that he was scared to hear the truth. Scared that all he had build up after Lexie left him would crumble down around him in a second.

"Even though I don't know what you are thinking right now I have a pretty good idea. So … why don't you want it to be exactly like you think it is?" Justine decided to use a common technique. Answering with a question. It would definitely help Mark to sort through his feelings.

"That would mean that Lexie … " Mark trailed off, rubbing his hands over his jeans, averting his gaze.

"Yes?"

"She saw the similarities to her own life, didn't she?" Mark said, looking up at her again with sudden determination shining in his eyes. He apparently was ready to grab the bull by the horns. To face his greatest fear.

"Yes, she did." Justine told him and Mark took in a deep breath before he continued.

"So … I assume Nathan would be Avery and Alexander would be me then?" Mark stated the conclusions he had drawn last night.

"She didn't say any names. I just connected the dots between the gossip I heard while I was in the hospital and her reaction about the story." Justine explained. She was almost one hundred percent certain that Mark was right but Lexie never mentioned names while they were talking about her situation.

"You said at the end of the book in your comments that you've changed the ending."

"Yes, in the first version I let Kate choose Alexander and believe me I was totally taken by surprise how vehemently Lexie reacted to that. After the surgery I've told her that I found a way to stretch out the series and Kate would stay with Nathan for now." Justine elaborated further.

"For now?" Mark asked surprised.

"At the end she is going to choose Alexander of course." Justine told him as if it was crystal clear that Alexander would be the one Kate would choose at the end.

"Why will she choose Alexander? Obviously Nathan would be the much better choice." Mark said disbelievingly.

"Lexie had the same opinion at first. But I've told her that Alexander is Kate's soul mate. It doesn't matter what looks better on paper. Love doesn't work that way."

Justine could see him gulping hard when she mentioned the word soul mate and she felt badly for him that he had to deal with all this information at once. He had to feel like he had been hit by a train.

"So how did she react after you've told her that Kate would finally choose Alexander?" Mark asked quietly, clearly shaken up by what he had just heard.

"She shouted at me why I hate Nathan so much. I just explained to her that it has nothing to do with Nathan but that it's Kate. She doesn't love Nathan." Justine replied.

"What happened then?"

"She told me that Kate should choose Nathan and that it isn't fair."

"She is still convinced that Nathan is the better choice." Mark said and she could hear the hurt in his voice. Even though they were talking about fictional characters, he reacted to it the same way Lexie did. As if they were talking about Lexie and him and he apparently felt as if she chose Jackson over him. Again.

"No. She doesn't think that Nathan is the better choice." Justine was glad that she was able to reassure him.

"Did she say so?" Marked asked hopefully.

"No. But she broke down in front of me."

"She cried?"

"Yes."

"So what exactly does that mean?" Mark asked, uncertainty tinging his voice.

"Mark, you seem to be a smart guy. You already know what it means. I don't have to spell it out for you." Justine answered him firmly.

"Damn. What am I supposed to do now? Timing is a bitch."

"I can't tell you what to do."

"So in a nutshell. Lexie thinks I'm her soul mate and that she made the wrong choice when she chose Jackson?" Mark asked for clarification, still not sure if he could believe what he'd just heard.

"That's pretty much it. But you are forgetting the most important part." Justine informed him.

"And what would that be?" Mark asked curiously.

"She is still in love with you, and she is hurting like hell because she thinks that she'd missed her chance."

Slumping back into the couch, Mark closed his eyes and pinched his nose, clearly struggling to hold his emotions in check.

"Did she miss her chance?" Justine pressed, pulling Mark out of his thoughts.

"What do you mean?" Mark asked with a trembling voice, awaiting eagerly Justine's answer.

"Well, you are currently in a relationship with another woman but you are here." Justine clarified.

"Yeah, I'm here." Mark stated the obvious.

"Mark, you came to me because you couldn't stop thinking about Lexie. You stayed up all night to read a book only to figure out why she was acting so weird." Justine tried to get through to him, to make him realize what was already clear to her.

"So you think I should dump my girlfriend only because she is now willing to get back together again? She told me to leave her alone. I granted her her wish and let her go. She walked away without looking back and now that I have a woman in my life she suddenly realized that she can't live without me?" Mark replied slightly angry.

"Sometimes you don't realize what you have until it's gone." Justine stated matter-of-factly.

"Oh, don't give me that crap." Mark snapped back, his anger obviously an attempt to protect his heart.

"But it's true. Deep down Lexie thought you would be always there for her. When she saw you with another woman she realized that that wasn't the case. You showed her that you were moving on and she couldn't take it. Why do you think she threw the baseball at your girlfriend?"

"You know about that?"

"I've told you. Gossip."

"So she did it on purpose?" It was more a statement than a question. So he already suspected that it wasn't an accident that Lexie hit Julia with the ball.

"Of course. She was insanely jealous." Justine said affirmatively.

"I didn't want to even think in that direction so I just convinced myself that it was true that she thought Julia would steal second base."

"Sometimes men can be so dense. Even Jackson realized that she was jealous." Justine informed him.

"He did what?" Mark asked totally stunned.

"Don't tell me that you didn't know that they broke up?" Justine asked him surprised.

"Derek just told me yesterday. I had no clue until I was talking to Julia on the phone a week ago telling her that I wished that she could have been in the OR with me. Lexie was walking by and apparently thought that I was talking to her."

"Interesting. What did she reply?"

"Really? Me too." Mark replied quietly.

"Oh poor girl. That must have been totally embarrassing." Justine said sympathetically.

"I didn't think that it was embarrassing. She backpedaled immediately and left me standing totally dumbfounded at the nurse station."

"That must have been quite a shock for you."

"It was and then she avoided me completely. She just disappeared into thin air every time I spotted her somewhere." Mark stated confused and Justine saw that it had been the right decision to give him the book. He would have gone insane sooner or later without it.

"Do you know why they broke up?" Justine asked him after a few minutes of silence.

"No. Derek didn't tell me." Mark told her.

"It was because of you." Justine informed him, already expecting the shocked expression on his face.

"No. No way. I let her go. We were hardly speaking to each other." Mark said defensively.

"Still. You were the reason why Jackson walked away from Lexie." Justine reiterated.

"Jackson broke up with her?" Mark asked astonished.

"Yes. He picked you over her and she didn't stop him when he asked her if he shouldn't."

"Why do you know so much about this?"

"She needed to talk to someone and I was there."

"We don't seem to work. We are just ending up hurt every time we try. I don't think I can take it one more time." Mark replied sadly.

"Maybe I can help you. Just close your eyes." Justine said, smiling when she saw his brows furrow in confusion.

"Excuse me?" Mark asked.

"Close your eyes, Mark. Geez, just do it. Don't be such a pighead." Justine replied mockingly and Mark chuckled slightly before he closed his eyes to humor her.

"So now imagine your life in ten years. What does it look like? Where do you see yourself in ten years?"

"That's ridiculous." Mark cracked one eye open and stared accusingly at her.

"Humor me. Just tell me. Let's start with something easy. Where do you want to live?"

Mark sighed loudly but closed his eyes again and leaned his head back on the couch. After several minutes he spoke into the silence.

"Definitely in a house. A quiet piece of land not too far away from the city. A big garden. The house should be just the right size. Not too big but not too small either."

"Any children?" Justine leaded him in the direction she wanted him to go in his imagination.

"Of course my daughter Sofia." Mark replied.

"Do you want more children?" Justine asked calmly.

"Yes, I love big families. So … two boys, two girls. I always thought it would be great to have four kids." Mark smiled.

"So one girl is Sofia. Just out of curiosity. How does the other girl look like?" Justine smirked, already knowing how he would describe his other daughter.

"Hmm, brown hair, almost black. I don't know it changes its color depending on how the light falls on it. Definitely brown eyes and when she smiles you don't want to be anywhere else. Her smile brightens every room."

Mark opened his eyes slowly, raising his eye brows questioningly, asking her silently if they were done. Justine nodded slightly and smiled at him before she closed in for the kill.

"After this very precise description of your daughter, do you realize who has to be the mother? To whom you want to be married to in ten years?"

"No I don't think …." Mark's jaw dropped down when the realization hit him. "Oh my god!"

"And there we have the epiphany. It was about time. I think you have your answer." Justine told him with a big smile on her face.

"Yeah, I guess I did get my answer. But I still have to come to a decision. It's not going to be easy either way." Mark said quietly.

"It never is."

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><p><strong>So don't expect me to update twice per week in the future. :D Normally my real life doesn't leave me much time for writing and I should probably work while I'm at work and not writing on the story. LOL. But the next chapter is almost done so it shouldn't take long until I can post it. <strong>

**So I wish all of you a hopefully great episode on Thursday. Let's keep our fingers crossed for a good M/L scene. We definitely deserve one. That's for sure.**


	3. Getting to the bottom of it

**Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews. I'm still a little taken aback by the response this story gets but you won't hear me complaining. :D **

**It took me a little longer this time but it's an extra long chapter. Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: Getting to the bottom of it<strong>

The moment his head hit the pillow Mark fell asleep, but only an hour later he suddenly shot up in his bed awakened by an extremely vivid dream of Lexie. He could swear that he could smell her shampoo in the room, that he could still feel her hair between his fingers. Laying back he took in some deep breaths, closing his fist around the bed sheet, gritting his teeth when he felt the tears welling up in his eyes. Oh god, he missed her so much. He had thought that he had finally managed to move on. The dreams about her had become rarer, the time between them longer and they stopped completely when he had met Julia. But apparently his mind had only wanted to lull him into a false sense of security.

Nothing had changed. He had fooled himself with even trying to move on. He wasn't able to. He would never be able to move on from her. Talking to Justine just reminded him that everything he'd done since he let Lexie go had been futile attempts. He had only shoved his love to Lexie into a corner of his heart, trying to mask it so that it would be easier to let her go. It didn't work.

Mark stood up restlessly and walked to the balcony doors, staring out over the city. Opening the door he stepped out, not even aware that it was freezing outside and that he was only wearing boxers. He shuddered when the wind hit him but didn't care when the rain hit his skin. Wrapping his hands around the railing he turned his head to the sky and let the rain drops beat down on his face. He felt like crying. He felt like screaming. He just needed to do something to relieve the pressure inside of him. Scream out the frustration about their inability to make it work.

He stayed out there for a few minutes trying to find an answer to the question what he should do now. When he felt his whole body shaking, he let go of the railing and stumbled back into the room, his feet and hands ice cold. Dropping his boxers, he walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on. Stepping inside, he welcomed the heat of the water stinging on his chilled skin and he rested his head against the tiles, letting the water pound on his back until his body was warmed up again.

Without bothering to put on something he only dried himself briefly with a towel before he dropped into bed. Standing on the balcony in the bitter cold hadn't helped at all. His head was still spinning with images of Lexie, images of the good times and the bad times. The memories assaulted his brain, everything he had buried inside of him for far too long came back to the surface again. He knew he had to make a decision, knew that his heart had already decided for him. But his brain was still reluctant to shut up, so he stared out into the darkness until tiredness and exhaustion overwhelmed him and he fell asleep.

~M&L~

Lexie jerked up in her bed, her heart beating violently. She turned her head abruptly, almost certain that he was lying beside her. It had felt so real. When she looked at the empty bed sheets beside her, only illuminated by the moon light, a sob escaped her and she bit on her bottom lip trying to stop the tears by feeling the sharp pain. He was gone. She wouldn't get him back. He was happy. She should just give up.

Lexie stood up and wrapped the sheet around her. Walking over to the window, she leaned her head against the ice cold surface. She was just so tired. Tired of fighting. Tired of always ending up with the wrong men. The only man that was right in every way was the one she pushed away. The one she made herself believe couldn't make her happy. Now she was standing here. Alone. Realizing that she made the biggest mistake of her life when she tried to convince herself that Mark wasn't the one. That love wasn't enough. It turned out that love was indeed enough. The only reason he could hurt her so much was the fact that she loved him more than anything in her life and now she'd lost him. Maybe forever.

Lexie walked slowly back to the bed and crawled under the comforter. Laying her hand on the pillow next to her, her vision blurred with tears. She stretched out her other hand and stopped mid-air and closed her eyes, imagining Mark's chest under her fingers. Balling her hand into a fist she boxed it into the mattress. She should stop torturing herself. She would never feel his skin under her fingers again, would never feel him inside of her again, would never fall asleep in his arms again.

Lexie slumped into the pillow, pulling out a shirt underneath of it. It was one of Mark's. She believed that she could still smell his scent on it and inhaling deeply she lost the battle and broke out into tears. Hugging the shirt tightly to her chest, the tears streamed over her face and she let them flow. He was gone and the only thing that she had left was a faded shirt, reminding her that she let the best thing that ever happened to her slip through her fingers.

~M&L~

Mark was awakened by an insistent pounding on his door and reluctantly he finally stood up and walked towards the door, shouting out to whoever was at the other side of the door.

"I'm coming. No need to pound a hole in the door."

He already reached for the door knob when he realized that he had fallen into bed last night without putting on some clothes. He searched his living room for anything to cover himself while the pounding on the door continued. Founding a towel on the couch, he wrapped it around his waist and opened the door.

"What's so urg ..." A hand slapped against his chest and shoved him back and he looked totally baffled at Meredith who stormed into his apartment. He glanced into the hallway and then back to Meredith. What was it with these Grey sisters that they always caught him off-guard? Closing the door he turned around to face Meredith, suddenly afraid that something happened to Derek or Lexie.

"Did something happen to Derek or Lexie?"

"As if you care. But no nothing happened to Derek or Lexie. At least not physically." Meredith replied sharply.

"What? What do you mean? What the hell is going on?"

Only now Meredith realized that Mark was standing only in a towel in front of her and she glanced cautiously towards his bed room.

"Is she in there?" Meredith whispered, in case Julia was still sleeping in the adjacent bed room.

"Who?" Mark asked confused, still not fully awake.

"Julia?"

"No. I'm alone."

"Do you always sleep naked?" Meredith looked him up and down with a slightly amused look on her face. Not that she wasn't angry at him anymore but this sight in front of her definitely distracted her for a few seconds. She had to give it to Lexie. She hadn't exaggerated when she told her how amazingly well-build Mark was. Shaking her head, she reminded herself why she came to his apartment in the first place. There was no time to admire his physiques. Not when he hurt her sister so much with his current behavior.

"None of your damn business. You're the one who burst into my apartment at ..." Mark took a look at the kitchen clock and sighed heavily. "... 5:30 in the morning. I don't have to justify how I sleep. So what are you doing here?"

"You damn well know what I'm doing here." Meredith spit out, her anger back with full force.

"Meredith, please ... I'm too tired to play guessing games. So just tell me what this is all about?"

Meredith looked closer at him and saw the dark circles under his eyes and the weary expression on his face. Apparently he was more affected by all of this than she had thought he was. Derek's assumption had been right. Lexie's reaction got him thinking and he definitely struggled with it. But she still needed to say what she came here to say. He needed to hear how much his behavior had hurt Lexie.

"Lexie."

"Is she okay? You said she is alright." Mark stepped forward and grabbed Meredith by her arms. "Where is she? Is she hurt?"

Mark was already on his way to his bedroom, clearly intending to put on some clothes to rush out to Lexie's side. Seeing that he jumped into action without asking any further questions made her feel hopeful. He was so in love with Lexie even if he didn't admit it to himself right now.

"No, Mark." Meredith stopped him before he disappeared in his bedroom. "I've told you. She isn't hurt. Not physically."

"Stop being cryptic. What do you mean not physically?" Mark returned to the kitchen counter and leaned against a bar stool, frowning slightly at Meredith.

"How did you feel when you found out that Lexie was dating Jackson?" Meredith asked in return.

"What has that got to do with anything?" Mark replied stubbornly.

"Just answer the question, Mark!" Meredith confronted him impatiently.

"What is this? The Inquisition?" Mark folded his arms over his chest, not willing to give in at this point.

"You better hope not. Though I wouldn't mind poking some needles into you to get proof that you are not the devil." Meredith replied, only half-joking.

"Excuse me?" Mark stared at her in disbelief, still not sure what he'd done to deserve this brusque behavior from her.

"Mark, the question!"

"Oh, right. I ... hurt, betrayed." Mark finally folded. Better he told her what she wanted to know before she would really poke him.

"That's all?" Meredith pressed, not satisfied with his answer.

"What do you want me to say?"

"The truth."

"Fine. My heart broke. Okay. Right there. In the middle of Callie's baby shower. Are you happy now?" Mark looked at her with blazing eyes, angry that she had reopened old wounds, now that he finally tried to move past it.

"Yes. But how on earth could you do the same to her then?" Meredith shook her head, looking disappointed at him.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Apparently you are going on and on about Julia. How awesome she is, how serious you are with her. Not to mention devouring her in front of everyone on the baseball field." Meredith explained.

"What's wrong with that? She is my girlfriend." Mark shrugged his shoulders even though he already felt guilty after he talked to Justine and knew now that Lexie had been jealous and that he probably hurt her by acting like he did.

"Mark Sloan, you are such an idiot. Must be the testosterone. I just found out that Derek is as idiotic as you are."

Looking into Mark's bewildered face, Meredith realized that she had to elaborate to make him understand what he did to Lexie.

"You didn't think that you hurt Lexie with doing all of this?"

"No, I didn't think that I hurt her. I didn't know that she cared. I didn't know that Jackson and she broke up. I ... How was I supposed to know that it affected her? She told me that she didn't want to love me anymore. I believed her. She chose Jackson and I have no right to try to move on myself? Meredith, I had to stop thinking about her all the time. She was with another man. I thought I'd lost her forever. I just needed to prove myself that I can carry on with my life. She told me that I have to live without her so that's what I'm trying to do here. I'm trying so damn hard to move on and I'm apparently failing miserably in doing so. I just needed to show everyone that I'm able to move on. Especially myself. How should I know that Lexie has changed her mind?" Mark said extremely agitated, beginning to pace in front of Meredith.

"Because you love her? Because you know that she still loves you? Why did you give up, Mark? Wasn't she worth fighting?" Meredith asked him and Mark turned around to her, taking two steps in her direction and almost yelled into her face.

"God damn it, Meredith. I love her. I can hardly breathe without her. It had been so hard to get up every day knowing that it's going to be another day without her by my side. It was killing me and the only way I could stop it was by convincing myself that I can find another woman out there who could help me get my life back. Yes, you're right. I know that she loves me. She told me. But she also told me that I can't make her happy. So I can't make her happy but seeing me happy makes her miserable? I ... " Mark shook his head slightly and looked at Meredith with pain filled eyes. "I would never hurt her intentionally, Meredith. Never. But I did hurt her. I'm sorry. I really am. Oh god, can I ever make anything right with her? All I do is hurting her. She deserves better."

Turning around he walked over to the kitchen counter and pressed his hands into the surface. Meredith could see his back muscles flexing while he tried desperately to keep his composure.

"I think I'm done here. You clearly got my point. I just wanted you to know."

Mark didn't even look at her when Meredith walked in the direction of the door and she suddenly felt a little sorry for him. So in an attempt to make him smile, she patted his shoulder and said in a playful tone.

"And by the way. Nice pecs." She was rewarded with a surprised chuckle and he turned around and smiled thankfully at her.

"Thanks. For the compliment and ... thanks, Meredith. For coming by. You are a great sister. You know that, right?" Mark asked her earnestly, the smile had already disappeared again, replaced by pure emotional exhaustion.

"I'm also a great sister-in-law so you two better get everything sorted out some time soon. I can't wait to have you as my brother-in-law."

Laughing out loud at his slack-jawed expression, she waved good-bye and closed the door behind her, hoping that coming to his apartment had been the right decision.

~M&L~

Lexie stumbled down the stairs, rubbing her tired eyes. Even though she almost slept the whole day yesterday she still felt absolutely whacked. Entering the kitchen, she saw Derek standing against the counter, a glass with something indefinable in a bilious green color in his hand.

"What's this?" Lexie asked him curiously.

"Here, drink. It'll help. You still look hungover." Derek replied, holding the glass in her direction.

"You really expect me to drink _that_!" Lexie sniffed carefully at the glass and wrinkled her nose when the foul-smelling odor hit her nose.

"Just hold your nose and gulp it down. Believe me. It helps."

Lexie looked at him skeptically but followed his instructions, almost throwing up when the liquid reached her taste buds.

"Ugh, that was disgusting. Don't tell me what was in there. I really don't wanna know."

Derek poured her a cup of coffee and put it in front of her.

"Here. That is going to taste a lot better." Derek smiled.

"Thanks." Lexie took a big gulp before she realized that Meredith wasn't in the kitchen with them. "Where is Meredith?"

"She had to make an errand." Derek replied.

"At 5:30 in the morning?" Lexie asked incredulously.

"It was urgent." Derek stated.

"Okay." Lexie was too tired to think more about Meredith's errand at this unusual hour and folded her fingers around the heavenly hot cup of coffee. When Derek cleared his throat she looked up at him again, seeing a somehow apologetic expression on his face.

"I'm sorry, Lexie. I know it might sound ridiculous. But I was just trying to help him move on. If I'd known that you still have feelings for him I would have stopped him instantly from acting that way in front of you. Do you believe me?"

"I believe you, Derek. But it doesn't really matter." Lexie said in a monotone voice.

"So you are done fighting? Already?" Derek asked her, shaking his head in disbelief.

"He seems happy now, Derek. Do I really have the right to destroy it? He'd moved on. Maybe I should just let him go." Lexie replied, defeat evident in her voice.

"He is trying too hard, Lexie." Derek told her, putting a hand over hers, squeezing it slightly.

"What do you mean?" Lexie furrowed her brows in confusion.

"I know him for a very long time now and it's fake."

"I don't understand."

"He doesn't love her, Lexie. He is just settling for the second best. Doesn't he have the right to know that he has a choice? That you are willing to give your relationship another chance? Don't you think that he has the right to know that you want him back?" Derek asked urgently, not willing to let her give up that easily.

"It has nothing to do with wanting, Derek. I don't want to love him but I can't stop loving him. I have no choice. Apparently my heart wants what it wants and it's stubborn as hell." Lexie smiled shakily.

"So maybe you should trust Mark's heart to feel the same way." Derek said quietly.

"But what if we crash again? I don't think we would survive another blow." Lexie replied.

"You want guarantees when it comes to love? There are no guarantees. Only faith. You two have to trust each other again. I know it's hard. But it's the only way."

"I'm scared, Derek."

"I know. But the only thing you can do is to jump and hope that he will catch you."

Derek leaned forward on both elbows so that he was face to face with Lexie, trying to help her in any way he could. It was the least he could do after what happened in the OR. He could see Lexie struggling with her feelings and she took in a shaky breath before she was able to speak again.

"I don't think I can do it. How should I trust him to catch me when he never chose me in the past? He made me feel as if I was no important part of his life. As if I cease to exist the moment he finds something better."

"You know that's not true, Lexie." Derek shook his head slightly.

He felt sorry for both of them. They had made so many mistakes in the past that it now seemed almost impossible for them to find a way back to each other.

"But he always treated me as if I don't have anything to say in the matter. As if my opinion doesn't count. How can this be love?" Lexie asked him sadly, a lonely tear trailing down her cheek.

"You know that Mark had a rough youth. His parents ignored him most of the time so he spent all his free-time at my house. He is like a brother to me and like a son for my mother but we are still not his real family. He needs roots Lexie. I think that's the reason why he had so desperately clung to Sloan. She was family." Derek tried to explain.

"But I want to be his family. Why can't he build a family with me?" Lexie asked slightly upset.

"Believe me, Mark wants nothing more than to build a family with you. Only you. He made a mistake with Sloan and he knows that. But did you even give him the chance to talk to you after he told you that Callie is pregnant with his child?"

"No." Lexie said, well aware that her refusal to talk to Mark was one of her biggest regrets. She never gave him the chance to explain it to her even if there was hardly a decent explanation for this.

"So how do you know that he wasn't willing to try everything in his power to make you comfortable with the situation? I know you didn't want to have children at this point of your life especially not a kid who isn't yours but it happened. He couldn't change it anymore. He didn't want to lose you. But he couldn't give up Sofia either. You do understand that he couldn't abandon his child, don't you?"

"Yes, I do. It's his flesh and blood. I get that. But he wanted me back and he still slept with Callie." Lexie replied.

"Did you at least ask him why?" Derek asked her curiously, almost certain that she didn't.

"Aehmm, no."

"Geez, you really need to talk to each other. No wonder that there are so many misunderstandings between you two. You can't know what the other is feeling or thinking when you don't talk about it. Or do you have some telepathic abilities beyond your photographic memory I don't know about?" Derek asked her jokingly.

"I wish!" Lexie chuckled slightly before she replied earnestly. "I get your point. But I think it's too late for the talk. We've missed our chance."

"It's never too late, Lexie. It's just getting harder and harder the more time goes by. But if it's not worth it to fight for love for what should you fight then?"

Derek looked urgently at her, trying to read in her eyes if he had been able to shake her up, if she was willing to give Mark and herself another chance. But he couldn't read her, so he decided that he'd said enough for now and should give Lexie some time and space to process all of it.

"Just think about it. I'm still convinced you should give it a try."

Derek walked around the corner and gave her a peck on the forehead before he left the kitchen. When he turned around in the door he could see that Lexie stared motionlessly out the window. Her hands were tightly wrapped around her coffee cup and her forehead was furrowed, indicating that she was at least contemplating the idea of talking to Mark. Now the only thing they could do was wait and see if it would lead to anything.

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><p><strong>Yeah, I admit it. I couldn't resist to let Meredith check out Mark because let's face it. There is no straight woman on this planet that wouldn't check him out when he would stand in front of you only with a towel wrapped around his waist. Are you imagining him right now only with a towel? I know I do. LOL.<strong>

**I really can't tell you how much I miss these two on the show. I just want a scene between them already. Actually just give me something. I would also be satisfied if they would share one meaningful look. Only one. I would hit the replay button until it's broken. Wowww, how desperate is that? **


	4. The truth

**Again, thanks to everyone who left a review. It's much needed these days where it's really hard to be a M/L shipper. *sigh* Hope you enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4: The truth<strong>

Derek turned around when he heard someone entering the gallery but looked immediately down into the OR again as soon as he saw that it was Meredith. Meredith walked down to him, curious what was happening in the OR that captivated him like this but couldn't see anything unusual. She leaned against the glass and looked inquiringly into his face.

"What is it?" Meredith asked quietly and Derek looked at her, shrugging his shoulders.

"I can't watch them torture themselves anymore. It's ridiculous. They should talk to each other." Derek sighed heavily.

"Mark and Lexie?" Meredith asked, looking down at her sister who was currently assisting Mark.

"Look at them. When he is not looking she is watching him and I feel like I'm watching some extremely sappy chick flick and should be embarrassed that the look in her eyes almost makes me tear up. For god's sake, I'm a man. Look what these two turned me into. Some romantic idiot."

Derek threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. He never met two people more stubborn than Mark and Lexie. They belonged together but apparently they still didn't want to listen to their hearts. Meredith smiled slightly when she saw how frustrated Derek was about the fact, that Mark and Lexie still refused to address the elephant in the room.

"I love this side of you. But you are right. It's heartbreaking to watch them. Look at Mark. You could see the longing even from up here. We have to do something. Apparently talking to them didn't help to speed up the process."

Meredith shook her head. She felt as if the air around them vibrated with the tension that simmered between the two in the operating room. You could clearly see that they were having unresolved issues. Especially since they avoided any eye contact and only talked about the surgery, staying clear of any personal matters.

"What do you suggest?" Derek asked curiously, almost certain that his wife had already cooked up a plan judging by the smirk that tugged at one corner of her mouth.

"Lock them in a room together." Meredith looked back up to Derek, her smirk turning into a mischievous grin. "They won't talk to each other unless they can't avoid it anymore. Now we just have to find a way to get them there."

"I'm on it." Derek replied, an idea already forming in his head.

~M&L~

"Where are we going?" Lexie asked, hurrying after Derek.

"Looking at the CT scans." Derek replied offhandedly without giving her any further explanation.

"What CT scans?" Lexie furrowed her brows in confusion. She didn't know that they had a new case. Her confusion increased even more when Derek stopped in front of a room that was clearly not the radiology room. "Wait, this isn't the radiology room."

"No. It's an on call room." Derek turned around and folded his arms in front of his chest, leaning against the wall directly beside the door.

"It's _the_ on call room!" Lexie exclaimed, a bad feeling rising in her when she saw the twinkle in Derek's eyes.

"I know." Derek grinned at her from ear to ear.

"What are we doing here?" Lexie asked, pretty certain that she wouldn't like what was behind the door.

"Walk down the memory lane." Derek replied nonchalantly.

"You've got to be kidding me, Derek. Walk down the memory lane?" Lexie looked at him in utter disbelief. "I broke his penis in there. Not one of our greatest memories."

"But one of your first." Derek said, the grin still on his face.

"Well, that's true but ..." Suddenly Derek grabbed her by her arm, opened the door and pushed Lexie inside. "Hey, what the heck ..."

Her voice trailed off when her eyes locked on the man standing in the middle of the room and she turned around to Derek angrily.

"That's not fair. You damn well know that I don't want to talk to him." Lexie hissed.

"Lexie, believe me. I'll chain you both to a chair until you've talked to each other." Derek told her with a serious voice.

"You wouldn't dare." Lexie replied.

"Want to find out?" Derek asked, raising an eye brow questioningly and judging by the look in his eyes Lexie decided that it was better not to tempt him to follow through on his thread.

"Fine." Lexie said with a stubborn look on her face. That didn't mean that she had to talk to him. She just needed to wait a few minutes until Derek would be gone then she could just leave the room.

Derek closed the door behind him but Lexie refused to turn around to Mark. She hadn't spoken to him since she had opened her mouth two weeks ago and completely embarrassed herself. She wasn't ready to face him. She waited silently, hoping that he would be as stubborn as she was and wouldn't speak first but she should have known better. When she heard him shifting behind her, she held her breath, almost missing his whispered question.

"Me too?"

Lexie shuddered slightly upon hearing these words. Of course he went straight to the point, giving her no way to escape the conversation. But she still couldn't move.

Mark looked at her stiff back. She clearly didn't want to talk to him but he was done with letting her run away from him. He wouldn't let her out of the room until she talked to him. His fingers twitched with the urge to just close the gap between them and take her into his arms but he wasn't sure how she would react so he held himself back.

"Lex, look at me." Mark said quietly.

The almost pleading tone left Lexie no other choice but to turn around and talk to him. She couldn't ignore him any longer. As if it was even possible to ignore him in this confined space. Every fiber in her was screaming at her that he stood only a few steps behind her, that they reached the point where they couldn't run away from each other any more.

"What?" Lexie snapped when she turned around to him, looking him in the eyes for the first time.

"Me too?" Mark repeated the question, his blue eyes burning into hers.

Lexie wished that a hole would appear under her feet and the earth would swallow her. She could still feel her cheeks burning from the humiliation that he hadn't been talking to her but to Julia so she decided that offense was the best defense.

"Don't repeat my words." Lexie replied angrily, balling her hands into fists. The desire to just throw herself into his arms was almost unbearable.

"You can't expect that you can drop a bomb like that and then run away as if nothing happened." Mark told her heatedly.

"What do you want me to say?" Lexie asked defensively.

"The truth." Mark stated determined.

"What truth?"

"Maybe we should start at the beginning." Mark took a step back and leaned against the bed post, folding his arms over his chest and Lexie wanted to slap him when she realized that this posture somehow made it even harder to withstand the urge to touch him.

"Did you throw the ball at Julia because you thought she was stealing second base?"

Mark caught her totally off-guard with this question but looking in his eyes she knew that she couldn't lie to him. She had the chance to tell him the truth and he deserved to know it. She could still hear Derek's words ringing in her head.

"No." Lexie replied barely audible, breaking eye-contact with him.

"So why did you throw the ball?" Mark pressed further.

"Do I really have to answer that?" Lexie looked at him again, still reluctant to voice her feelings.

"Yes, I want to hear it from you."

"Hear it from me? To whom were you talking?" Lexie asked him confused.

"Justine." Mark told her and Lexie's eyes widened in surprise upon hearing Justine's name.

"You talked to Justine?"

"You avoided me so I talked to Derek and he sent me to Justine." Mark watched Lexie closely and he could see that she was already trying to figure out what Justine might have told him. "It was very insightful." Mark added.

"Shit." Lexie muttered under her breath. She didn't expected him to know about the whole Nathan and Alexander debate she had had with Justine. Knowing Justine she had told Mark everything about it. Justine had been able to look right through her and even though she didn't give her a name, she was sure that Justine had figured it out almost immediately who Mark was.

"Lex, please just talk to me." Mark pleaded, seeing the various emotions flicker through her eyes. He wanted her to tell him what she was thinking. In his opinion their last break-up would have been avoidable if they would have just talked to each other. This time he wouldn't let her rush out again. He straightened himself, ready to jump into action if Lexie decided to hurry out of the room. But he didn't need to hold her back. Lexie's shoulders slumped in defeat and she relaxed visible before she locked eyes with him.

"I … I don't think I can, Mark." Lexie whispered.

"Lexie, it's me." Mark took a step forward but stopped immediately when Lexie retreated one step, clearly not wanting him to touch her and he didn't want to force something on her she wasn't ready for. "I went to a complete stranger because I wanted to know why you were acting so weird. I even read her damn novel because she told me to."

"You've read the book?" Lexie's mouth fell open with surprise. She would have never expected Mark to read a romance novel.

"Yes, I did. I pulled an all-nighter because I couldn't stop reading after I started it." Mark explained to her.

"You did?" A silly smile appeared on Lexie's face.

"And that makes you happy! Unbelievable." Mark huffed, shaking his head slightly amused.

"Maybe a little." Lexie smirked up at him and Mark smiled back. But after a few seconds their smiles faltered when they realized that they still hadn't sorted out anything.

"You still haven't answer my question." Mark said quietly.

Lexie waited a few moments before she answered him, clearly uncertain how much she should tell him but decided that she shouldn't beat around the bush anymore.

"I was jealous."

"Why?" Mark asked her curiously. After all she didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore. He didn't expect her to be jealous.

"I didn't understand it myself at the time. After all you let me go and I walked away." Lexie tried to explain.

"And now? Do you understand it now?"

"Yes. It took me seeing you with another woman to realize that I don't want to be with anyone else than you. That I don't want you to move on from me." Lexie admitted.

"So the Me too moment was you telling me that? Does that mean that you miss me?" Mark asked her.

"I never stopped missing you." Lexie replied, without hesitation this time.

"You could have fooled me."

"But I've missed you every second we were apart." Lexie assured him but suddenly her facial expression changed as if she had an epiphany and she muttered to herself. "Ohh, now I know why she went back to Paris."

"To be with Alexander. Because she missed him even while she was together with Nathan." Mark responded, needing only a few seconds to catch up on her train of thoughts, making Lexie blush.

"I forgot for a moment that you've talked to Justine."

"While we are at it. Do you think we are soul mates?" Mark asked.

"Maybe." Mark raised his eyebrows and Lexie shrugged her shoulders. "Probably. But what I do know is that I've missed you, that I never stopped loving you, that you are the one who completes me and I was an idiot not to fight harder for us."

Lexie bit her tongue and she turned her head, pressing her eyes shut for a second to stop the tears from rising. It was so hard to let him go. But she had to. Gulping hard, she opened her eyes again and told him what she needed to tell him before she could leave.

"I'm sorry. I never intended that you find out about my changed feelings. I was the one who pushed you away. I don't deserve a second chance. Well, actually that would already be our third try. I get it. So don't worry. It won't happen again. I only want you to be happy even if that means that I have to watch you with another woman."

Turning around, Lexie started to walk towards the door and she was almost certain that she could hear her heart breaking. She would never love anyone as much as she loved Mark. She needed to get out of the room before she would break out into tears.

Mark looked after her, stunned for a few seconds by her speech. But when Lexie reached for the door knob, he uttered the words he was sure would stop her dead in her tracks or at least he hoped they would stop her.

"Only for your information." Mark paused briefly, waiting if Lexie would turn around but when she only stood stock still, her hand wrapped around the door knob, he took in a deep breath and let the bomb drop. "I broke up with Julia."

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><p><strong>Uiii ... look at that. A cliffhanger. LOL. Sorry, but the chapter got insanely long and I had to split it into two parts so that I could post something today and I have a bad feeling that we might need another chapter this week to cheer us all up after Thursday's ep. I still fear that Mark isn't even in it. I really hope that my gut feeling turns out to be wrong. So I might be able to finish the next chapter over the weekend if I need to have happy ML thoughts after the ep on Thursday.**


	5. Against the odds

**Thanks for your reviews. You can't imagine how excited I get every time I have a new review alert in my inbox. I love to hear from my readers.**

**See, even though Mark was in the ep (and OH MY GOD what a great entrance) I finished the next chapter today. So enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5: Against all odds<strong>

Lexie's heart skipped a beat and her hand dropped down from the door knob. She felt a flutter of hope rising in her chest. Hope she had almost completely lost. Was he really free again?

Mark waited impatiently for a reaction from Lexie and he already feared that she wouldn't react the way he had hoped she would. At least she was still in the room and didn't run out.

Lexie doubted that she'd heard correctly. Mark being single again was what she had dreamed about day and night, but she never expected that she would actually get another chance. Maybe she was already hearing voices because she needed him with such a desperation that she wouldn't be surprised if she'd just imagined hearing his voice. Slowly turning around, she startled slightly when she realized that he was standing right in front of her but she refused to look him in the eyes, afraid of what she might see there.

"What?" She whispered, her voice tinged with disbelief.

Mark took it as a good sign that she'd turned around again, that she reacted in any way to his confession. But he wanted to see her face, wanted to see in her eyes that he'd made the right choice.

"I broke up with her three days ago." Mark replied quietly.

"Why?" Lexie asked, finally looking up and her breath caught in her throat when she saw the love shining in his eyes.

"Because she isn't the one who makes me happy." Mark answered, his voice hoarse with emotions. "She isn't the one I dream about at night. She isn't the one who drives me crazy by only looking at me. She isn't the one I think about all the time. Because there is only one woman to whom my heart belongs." Mark took in a deep breath, holding Lexie in place with a piercing gaze, making her feel like a deer caught in the headlights. "It wouldn't have been fair to continue the relationship. After mulling over it for days and hardly sleeping anything I finally realized that I had to stop fooling myself. I didn't love her. There is only one woman I love and she is standing right in front of me."

Mark stared expectantly at Lexie, waiting for her response. A lonely tear trailed down her cheek and he brushed it away tentatively, feeling a jolt racing through his body when his fingers finally touched her skin again.

"Mark, I …" Lexie paused briefly and put her hand on his chest directly above his heart. "I love you too."

"I know." Caressing her cheek with his thumb, Mark threaded his hand into her hair and Lexie exhaled a shuttering breath. Only Mark was able to make her feel this way. Only he was able to give her the feeling that she shouldn't be anywhere else. That she was where she belonged. With him.

"We have to talk." Lexie murmured. Tilting her head slightly, she closed her eyes for a few seconds, relishing the feeling of his fingers brushing over her face.

"I know." Mark whispered. "To tell the truth I'm still afraid that you might break my heart again but I'm willing to give us another try."

Lexie raised herself on tiptoes and pressed her lips against his for a brief kiss before she dropped back on her feet.

"Can you just hold me for a few minutes? I just need to be in your arms. Please." Lexie said, with still watery eyes.

Without hesitation Mark pulled her into his arms and Lexie wrapped her arms tightly around him, burying her face in his chest. She was finally in the only place she had wanted to be all along. When she felt his hand stroking over her hair, she got overwhelmed by her emotions and the tears she had suppressed for so long were burning behind her closed eye lids. But she still tried to hold them in check, certain that when she started to cry she would completely lose her composure. But smelling his unique scent again, the scent she had smelled every night when she had pulled out his shirt, Lexie couldn't hold them in any longer.

Mark felt her stiffening in his arms, her whole body went rigid and it took him a few seconds until he realized that she cried silently, that she tried desperately to keep her body from shaking.

"Oh Lex." Mark sighed into her hair. He walked towards the bed with Lexie still in his arms and sat down. Pulling her into his lap, he stroked with his hands soothingly over her back.

"Shhh, don't cry, Lexie. Please don't cry."

"I ... I ..." Lexie sniffed loudly and held her breath, trying to stop the tears but failed. Realizing that she couldn't stop until she cried everything out that she'd bottled up for such a long time, Mark wrapped his arms more tightly around her and continued to stroke her hair, whispering reassuring words.

"Shhh, I love you, Lexie. I'm not leaving you again. I promise. You have to live with me for the rest of your life. I'm not going anywhere. I love you."

Hearing her heartbreaking sobs and feeling her hand clutching his shirt, the tears welled up in his eyes as well. Mark had never seen her that devastated before. Not even on the day she didn't get cut from the program. He tightened his grip even further around her and dropping a kiss on her forehead, he waited patiently until the sobs subsided and Lexie lifted her head.

"It's ... " Lexie wiped away the tears and looked at him through watery eyes. "It's just too much right now. Being in your arms again after what felt like an eternity ... it's as if a dam broke and everything rushed out in a heartbeat. I ... I thought that I would never feel your arms around me again. I thought that I'd lost you forever, Mark."

Looking down at his chest, Lexie spotted the wet stain on his shirt.

"I'm sorry for making your shirt all wet."

"I don't care. You can make my shirt all wet as often as you feel the need to. I'm here for you."

"I'm just so relieved that I didn't miss my chance." Lexie lifted her hand to his face and stroked carefully over his scruff, trailing her fingers over his lips. "I'm so in love with you Mark Sloan that it'd hurt so much to live without you and the realization that it was mostly my fault hurt the most. I told you to let me go. I couldn't ask you to take me back after I shoved you away so vehemently. How could I ask you to give me, to give us another chance?"

"Did you really believe that I stopped loving you?" Mark asked.

"I know I shouldn't have but I did believe that you finally moved on, that I realized too late that I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Lexie replied quietly.

"How where you, of all people, not able to see through the facade? I didn't love her. I always wanted you." Mark emphasized, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Well, it didn't look that way to me." Lexie defended herself, dropping her gaze to his chest to hide the pain that she was still feeling when she thought about Julia and him together. "You two were all over each other in front of everyone."

"I'm sorry, Lexie." Mark pulled her chin up with one finger, so that she had to look him in the eyes again. "I shouldn't have shoved it into your face like that. You have to believe me I didn't do it intentionally though looking back I'm not sure if I didn't want to show you subconsciously that I can live a life without you. You were the one who told me that I can't make you happy, remember?"

"I remember." Lexie said sadly. "But that didn't make it hurt any less to see you kissing another woman."

"I didn't think you cared." Mark replied apologetically.

"Oh, I cared. I cared a lot."

"I know, hence the baseball." Mark smirked.

"Yep, not one of my finest moments but the green monster raised its head and I couldn't fight it even though I knew damn well that I had no right to be jealous."

"Well, another woman kissed your man." Mark said earnestly.

"He wasn't my man at the time." Lexie gulped hard, remembering how devastated she had been that she couldn't claim him as her man. "That was the problem."

"But he is yours again now."

"I still need some time to let it sink in, Mark. I'd never thought that I'll get another chance." Lexie replied softly, leaning her head against his shoulder again.

"Me neither. But it happened. We are here. Together." Mark told her quietly.

"Yeah, we are here and you can't imagine how happy I am about that."

"I think I have a pretty good idea after the last hour."

"I'm sorry that I broke down like that." Lexie replied slightly embarrassed.

"Nothing to be sorry about, Lex. Actually I'm feeling kind of honored." Mark chuckled slightly.

"What? Why?" Lexie lifted her head in surprise and leaned back to look into his eyes.

"That you feel so strongly about me." Brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear, Mark smiled at her. "If I had needed any proof that you really love me your breakdown definitely showed me how much you really care."

"Well, if you look at it that way." Lexie snuggled back into his embrace and closed her eyes when Mark started to stroke over her hair. After a few minutes of silence Lexie whispered barely audible. "I'm glad that you don't need proof."

"I never questioned your love. I knew that you love me but I've thought that our love isn't enough for you."

"I believed that everything that we've been through was a sign that we don't belong together. As if the universe decided to show us over and over again that we should just stop trying." Lexie attempted to explain. "I know that sounds silly."

"So why are you here then?" Mark asked curiously. He hoped that she didn't want to talk herself out of it again.

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you back in my arms again?" Mark elaborated and Lexie straightened herself and stood up. When Mark looked at her questioningly, she only smiled and put her legs beside his and lowered herself on his legs so that she could straddle him before she took his face between her hands and replied earnestly.

"Because no matter what the universe is trying to tell us I can't live without you and I'm done with trying to do what seems right. I'm done with letting my life be dictated by fear or other people's opinion what's best for me. From now on I decide for myself and fight for the things that I want most in my life."

"So I'm one of the things you want most?" Mark smirked while he put his hands on her hips, stroking lazily with his thumbs over the fabric of her scrubs.

"No."

"No?" Mark asked surprised, furrowing his brows in confusion.

"No." Lexie lowered her head and gave him a deep kiss before she continued. "Your love is the one thing I can't survive losing."

"You won't lose it. I won't let you push me away again. This time we are going to make it work. We have to. Because I can't live without you either." Mark pulled her head down to him and kissed her again.

This time the kiss lasted for several minutes before Mark released her lips again and he smiled broadly when he saw Lexie's flushed cheeks and hooded eyes.

"Then this is settled now. You and me. Boyfriend and girlfriend." Lexie smirked.

"Yes, boyfriend and girlfriend."

"What about husband and wife?" Lexie asked with a mischievous grin on her face.

"What?" Mark asked, totally taken by surprise by her question.

"Just wanted to let you know that I'm open to the idea." Lexie smiled and Mark couldn't remember when he had last seen her that happy.

"Wow, that came totally out of left field." Mark replied a little breathlessly.

"Urghh, no baseball references please." Lexie wrinkled her nose and shook her head in disgust.

"Sorry." Mark chuckled slightly before he lifted her from his lap and swirled her around so that she was laying beneath him on the bed. "But seriously, you are open to the idea of becoming Mrs. Dr. Mark Sloan?"

"Hmm, maybe Dr. Alexander Grey-Sloan? Sounds good to me." Lexie looked up at him, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

"As long as you are willing to call yourself Sloan I'm good." Mark told her contentedly.

After giving her a brief peck on her lips, Mark stretched himself out next to her and Lexie snuggled into his side, listening to his heart thumping directly under her ear.

"So can I expect then that you won't shut me down when I'm going to propose to you sometime in the near future?" Mark asked and Lexie could hear the humor in his voice.

"Define near future?"

"Uhhh, uhhh." Mark shook his head. "You might have blindsided me with the suggestion but I'm not going to let you take over the control about when and how I'm going to propose."

Lexie propped herself up on one elbow and pressed her other hand against his chest for leverage, watching him carefully before she responded.

"So you are going to propose?"

"Ahhh, you are a sneaky woman." Mark wagged a finger at her and Lexie broke out in laughter.

"Yep, you just confirmed that you want to marry me."

"Of course I wanna marry you." Mark replied.

"I just wanted to hear it again." Lexie whispered.

"Hear it again?"

"Do you remember your speech shortly before the shooting?"

Mark furrowed his brows, trying to figure out what Lexie was talking about but suddenly he remembered what he'd told her at the nurse station. It seemed like a life time ago but apparently he'd made quite an impression when Lexie still remembered it.

"Oh, the one where I told you that I'm still in love with you?"

"Yeah, that one."

"Of course."

"You told me that I could have a husband." Lexie's eyes burned into his and he could see that whatever she wanted to tell him with this was very important for her.

"You still could have a husband." Mark said quietly.

"And this time I want to have a husband." Lexie replied earnestly.

"You are not going to coax the question out of me in an on call room, Lexie." Mark replied with a determined voice when he saw the smile that appeared on Lexie's face. "No chance."

"Well, at least I tried." Lexie said, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly.

"You are incorrigible." Mark chuckled.

"And you love it." Lexie said happily.

"Yes, I love it." Overpowered by an urge to feel her skin under his fingers again, he lifted his hand and let his fingers trail over her forehead and down her temple before he cupped her cheek with his hand. "I love everything about you, Lexie."

"Even after everything that has happened in the past?" Lexie asked him, uncertainty clearly evident in her voice.

"Yes, even after everything. In good times and in bad times, right?"

Lexie turned her head and kissed his palm briefly before she put her hand over his. Intertwining their fingers, she pulled his hand down, her eyes locked on his, a serious expression on her face.

"I'm not gonna bail again, Mark. Not this time."

"I want to believe it, Lexie." Mark turned around and propped himself up on one elbow so that he was face to face with Lexie. "I really do. But you have to give me some time, okay? It's not that easy."

"I know and it's okay." Lexie said, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "I just have to show you over and over again that you can trust me."

"And I have to show you over and over again that I'm worth fighting for, that our relationship is worth fighting for. I know that I made mistakes in the past but I can promise you it will never happen again. The next child that has half of my genes will have the other half from you."

"I sure hope so. I swear if you sleep with another woman again I'm going to castrate you." Lexie replied, only half-joking.

"Do you know what's most disturbing about that thread?" Lexie shook her head and with a big smile on his face Mark added. "That I think that you are dead serious and I still love you."

"You better do. Because I love you too." Lexie replied quietly, her voice full of emotion.

"Let's get out of here. Derek told me that he cleared our schedules. We are good to go whenever we want."

Mark climbed out of bed and pulled her up, wrapping his arms immediately around her.

"Where do we go?" Lexie asked curiously, leaning back in his arms so that she could see his face.

"Home?"

"And where is home?"

"No matter where we are as long as we are together it's home." Mark told her softly.

"You are right. So ... where should we go?"

"We can go to my apartment or to Meredith's house but apparently Derek and Meredith thought we might need some alone time without any interruptions."

"What do you mean?" Lexie asked, curious what it might be when Mark grinned down to her from ear to ear.

"They booked a cabin for us." Mark replied nonchalantly, as if it happened every day that Derek and Meredith booked a cabin for them.

"Seriously?"

"Yes, we can spend the whole weekend there."

"Remind me to thank them when we are back." Lexie smiled. "They invested a lot of time and effort to help us get back together. They both talked some sense into me."

"Into me too. But apparently we needed it."

"Clearly. So let's go packing." Lexie replied excitedly. "I can't wait to see it."

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><p><strong>I just couldn't drag it out any longer. Shonda is a champ in dragging their reunion out on the show so I thought I could let them get back together a little faster. LOL. That doesn't mean that there won't be a little drama down the road (yep I will let them have their serious talk before I will enter the land of pure fluff) but at least they will talk about their problems. Something they never do on the show. <strong>


	6. Alone time

**Thanks for all the awesome reviews and all the alerts. You guys are amazing. :-) Keep the reviews coming. **

**The ep on Thursday was amaaaaazing! I loved it!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 6: Alone time<strong>

Mark stopped in the doorframe when he saw Lexie curled up in a chair in front of the fireplace, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. The light of the fire flickered over her face and his breath caught in his throat for a second when it hit him how beautiful she was and how lucky he could be that she loved him and wanted to be with him. If the last years had taught him anything it was that he should never take anything for granted. Especially not Lexie.

"Lex?" Mark whispered with a hoarse voice.

"Hmmm?"

Lexie turned her head and blinked up at him, a huge smile appeared on her face when she saw him standing in the doorframe, in a tight black shirt and sweatpants. She was amazed that even after all this time seeing him made her heart stop for a second.

It had been always present. The chemistry between them. This strange feeling of recognition. Right from the beginning, though she didn't let herself think about it until she ended up at his hotel room. In hindsight it was the best decision of her life to shut down her brain for one night and give in to the feelings that had smoldered in her for quite some time. Otherwise she would have never found her soul mate.

"I came to a decision." Mark's voice pulled her out of her thoughts and she locked eyes with him before she asked him to clarify what he was talking about.

"About what?"

"We are not having sex here." Mark almost laughed out loud when he saw the shocked expression on Lexie's face mere seconds before she shot up from the chair.

"You can't be serious!" Lexie exclaimed harshly, her eyes still wide open with utter surprise about his unexpected statement.

"Oh, I'm serious." Mark smirked when he saw a calculating look appear on Lexie's face as she walked slowly towards him, swaying her hips provocatively.

"You want to tell me that you'll be able to keep your hands to yourself the whole weekend?" Lexie asked with a wicked grin on her face.

"Who said something about keeping my hands off you? I was talking about having sex. We rushed into it the last time we got back together. I'm not making the same mistake again." Mark answered firmly, beginning to wonder if he would be able to keep his promise.

"Fine." Lexie snorted incredulously, putting her hands on her hips, a mischievous glint appeared in her eyes before she challenged him. "But no inappropriate touching either."

"So we are not going to step into the bath tub together?" Mark asked, not able to keep the disappointment out of his voice.

"Well, we can make some exceptions." Lexie replied in a seductive tone, letting her eyes trail up and down his body. "I'm not willing to waste any more time. It's been far too long since I've seen you naked. I wonder if you are still as well-build as I can remember."

"Want to find out?" Mark asked, enjoying the banter immensely.

"Take off your shirt, Dr. Sloan." Lexie said in a low voice, licking her lips expectantly.

"As you wish, Dr. Grey."

Mark took the hems of his shirt in his hands and pulled it over his head in one swift move, surprised when he heard her take in a sharp breath. Looking up, he was slightly shocked when he saw her glistened eyes and took one step in her direction not sure why she seemed to be upset.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Lexie replied with a shaky voice.

"Lexie, talk to me." Mark said urgently, stepping closer but stopped immediately when Lexie raised her hand.

"Stop. Don't come any closer." Lexie whispered, her eyes still glued to his chest.

"You are weirding me out right now." Mark told her, starting to worry about what he'd done to make her cry.

"Just give me a minute." Lexie said, surprised that only the sight of his bare chest made her tear up.

"For what?" Mark balled his hands into fists, expecting the worst.

"Enjoying the view." Lexie replied quietly and Mark sighed in relief.

He was still scared that she would change her mind and leave him again. It would take some time before he wouldn't fear that she could leave him whenever they started a fight or had to discuss their problems.

"Ohh, so you like what you see then?" Mark asked with a cocky grin on his face.

"Yeah, very much." Lexie smiled. "I just realized that I've missed your body almost as much as I've missed you."

"Should I be honored or affronted?" Mark grinned back.

"You are one handsome man, Mark Sloan." Lexie stepped forward until she stood directly in front of him and put both of her hands on his chest, trailing them slowly down to his stomach. "I love the feeling of your muscles under my fingers, especially when I find a sensitive spot." Lexie caressed his abs and as if on command his muscles clenched under her fingers when she let her fingers trail along the hem of his pants. "You are still holding on to the "no sex" rule?"

"Yep, still no sex. So don't you dare slip your fingers in my pants."

"Can't we make an exception here?" Lexie fluttered her eyelashes teasingly at him and licked her lips suggestively.

"You evil woman. But no, no exception." Mark replied determined, bending down to kiss the pout of her face.

"So just kissing then." Lexie leaned closer into him and wrapped her hands around his neck so that he couldn't escape her.

"Just kissing." Mark whispered before he closed the gap and captured her lips for another passionate kiss.

"I'm not sure I can stick to the rule the whole weekend, Mark." Lexie sighed heavily when he released her lips and wrapped his arms around her waist. "My body is screaming for you. Very loudly."

"Is that how it's going to be the whole weekend?" Mark looked down at her, suppressing a grin when he saw the mischievousness shining in her eyes.

"I don't know what you are talking about." Lexie said innocently.

"You, tempting me, with dirty talk and your body until I break?" Mark clarified.

"Yeah, that's pretty much it." Lexie confirmed.

"Okay. I think this is gonna be an extremely strenuous weekend then."

"Well, we can make it worthwhile."

"Meaning?"

"We can have strenuous activities in bed."

"I think I might need some cold showers over the weekend if you're keeping up with this." Mark joked lightheartedly but the smile dropped off his face when Lexie suddenly stepped out of his embrace and turned around. She walked to the window before she faced him again, her expression suddenly all serious.

"I really get it why you want to wait, Mark. But I'm starving. I'm dying of hunger for you. Only a few days ago I thought I would never spend one night with you again. But now you are standing right in front of me and I just can't wait anymore. I want you. So badly that I feel like I'm going to explode any second. I ..." Lexie looked up at him with pleading eyes, all the playfulness from just a few moments before gone. "Can we please ... only once? I still feel like this is all a dream. Please, Mark. I need you."

"I ... I don't know if this is such a great idea, Lexie."

"Mark! Please!" Lexie replied slightly desperate. "I need to feel you. Make me feel that this is real. That we are real."

"We are real, Lexie." Mark could see the disappointment in her eyes even though she tried to hide it before she averted her gaze to the ground and just like that all his restraint vanished into thin air. He loved her and he could see how much it would mean to her to feel connected to him again.

"What the hell!" Lexie's head shot up and she looked at him questioningly as he rushed through the room to pull her into his arms. "I want you too. Maybe even more than you want me."

"That's not possible." Lexie whispered against his neck.

"You are aware that you did it again, right?" Mark leaned slightly back so that he could look into her face.

"Did what again?" Lexie asked curiously.

"Catching me completely off-guard. Though I should be used to it by now. I didn't stand a chance back then and I have no chance to resist you now."

Hearing him referring to their first encounter at his hotel room, Lexie couldn't avoid smiling broadly up to him.

"Teach me?" Lexie asked teasingly and Mark chuckled slightly, giving her a brief peck on her lips.

"I 'm going to teach you all night." He promised.

"You better do."

"One night, okay? Then we are taking it slow!"

"Okay!"

As if this was all Mark needed to hear he crushed his lips down on hers and every control slipped away in a heartbeat when Lexie's fingers flew over his body. They left a trail of clothes behind when they stumbled towards the bed room, kissing each other hungrily all the way until they tumbled onto the bed both already naked and Mark finally gave in to Lexie's whispered pleading. Giving her the connection she so desperately needed.

~M&L~

"Mark?" Lexie asked softly, her head lying comfortable on Mark's chest, her body entangled with his.

After he had satisfied her needs in the usual Mark Sloan way with mind-blowingly fantastic sex, she would have preferred to just stay where she was for the rest of her life, enjoying the feeling of his hand running up and down her spine. But this was the real world and it wouldn't do any good to prolong the talk any longer. Better to get it over with as soon as possible.

Judging from her earnest tone, Mark assumed that she wanted to talk. He knew they needed to talk he'd just hoped they could stall it a little longer. Her naked body pressed against his just made him realize how much he had missed her. In his life and in his bed. She had ruined him for any other woman and he wanted to hold onto this special moment just a few minutes longer.

"Is it time already?" Mark asked quietly, pressing his lips against her forehead.

"We can't live in this happy bubble forever." Lexie replied, reaching with her hand up to his jaw without looking up, caressing his cheek for a few seconds before she let her hand trail down his neck, placing it on his chest.

"I know. Just ... can you give me a few minutes to prepare myself mentally?"

"Sure."

After a few minutes of silence, Mark put his hand over hers before he kissed her forehead once again. He pushed himself up until he was propped comfortably against the headboard and whispered into her hair.

"Okay, I'm ready."

Lexie reluctantly gave up her comfortable position on Mark's chest and wrapped the bed sheet around her. Crossing her legs, she took in a deep breath and went straight to the point that had bothered her the most.

"Do you have any idea how much it hurt that you slept with Callie? I know that we weren't together at the time but you said that you are in love with me and you still slept with another woman. I thought you have left the old you behind a long time ago."

Mark flinched slightly when her eyes showed him how much she had felt betrayed by his actions. He had asked himself this particular question over and over again. Why he did give in into Callie's clearly inappropriate request. Up to this point he didn't find a satisfying answer. He shouldn't have slept with her. It was that plain and simple.

"I shouldn't have slept with her." Mark voiced his thoughts out loud. "You are right. It was a relapse into my old self. For most of the women in my life I was always only someone they could have incredible sex with. No one ever wanted to know me. Me. Not the Mark Sloan I showed everyone but the real Mark Sloan."

"Apart from me." Lexie interjected quietly.

"Yeah, you were the first woman who really wanted to see me. Who wanted to get to know me. I wasn't a sex machine anymore. I was just Mark."

"So why did you fall back into your old habits then?"

"I've lost you." Mark responded softly. "You didn't want to talk to me. Maybe a part of me decided that you were right in shoving me away. That I wasn't good enough for you. That you deserved better. When my supposedly best friend asked me to comfort her, I just thought that that's what I'm supposed to be. The sex buddy. Clearly I wasn't good at relationships so maybe that's the only thing I would ever be in my life." Lexie started to speak but Mark interrupted her. "I know that's no excuse. I never stopped loving you and I shouldn't have given up on you. On us. I should have fought harder."

"So you slept with her out of pity for her and because you thought that you were always going to be a whore?" Lexie stated bluntly.

"I wouldn't have used the word whore, but yeah ... that's pretty much it." Mark confirmed.

"Mark Sloan, you are the stupidest man I've ever met. How can you think so badly of yourself?" Lexie exclaimed, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Because I am bad." Mark explained sadly. "Look what I did. I slept with another woman even though I'm head over heels in love with you and I got punished by you leaving me again. For some precious moments I had you back. You were in my arms again and then what seemed to be a second later you stormed out of them again. Leaving me behind. Nothing had ever hurt so much in my life than you slamming the door shut after you. I knew you would run but a little part of me hoped that you would prove me wrong."

"Leaving _you_ behind?" Lexie cut in with a sharp voice. "I thought you left _me_ behind. Again. There I was. Your girlfriend. Standing in your kitchen while you didn't even tell me outright that you are going to have a child with Callie. You let me guess and you expected of me to just live with it."

"I hadn't expected of you to just live with it." Mark defended himself. "I've learned from my mistakes with Sloan. I wanted to talk to you about it. Make it work. Sofia is my child. She isn't going anywhere. She will always be a part of my life. But I'm sorry that I told you about her in the way I did. I admit it was the worst way. But you didn't even give me the chance to make it work. You didn't even want to talk to me. Again."

"It seemed to me that everything else in your life is always more important than I." Lexie said, her voice breaking with the last words and she gulped hard to avoid bursting out in tears.

"That's not true, Lexie." Mark emphasized. "I love you. I didn't lie when I told you that I have everything I've always wanted. Almost. You weren't in my life and my life is not complete without you. I'm only truly happy when I'm with you."

"So this could have been all avoided if I would have just talked to you?"

"Probably."

"I'm sorry, Mark. For refusing to talk to you. But you having a child with another woman had been just a little too much at the time. But I should have given you the chance to talk to me."

"But it was my fault in the first place." Mark raised his hand and stroked tentatively over her cheek. "If I hadn't slept with Callie there wouldn't have been a child."

"Yeah, but what if's don't help." Lexie sighed. "Sofia is here. You have a daughter. I tried to move on from you but it didn't work."

"You can't imagine how glad I am that it didn't work."

"This. You and me. This is special, Mark. A love like ours doesn't exist very often. Some people never experience real love in her whole life. We can't throw it away. We have to hold on to it."

"I completely agree with you." Mark tugged at her hand and Lexie straightened her legs so that Mark could pull her in his arms. "So did I answer your most urgent questions or do you want to know something else?"

"No, I think I'm good for now. I'm exhausted."

"Physically or mentally?" Mark asked curiously.

"Don't get too cocky here!" Lexie smacked him playfully on the chest, smiling happily when she heard him chuckle.

"But I have every reason to be cocky in this department." Mark defended himself jokingly.

"Yes, you have." Lexie confirmed his statement.

"Wait, did you just agree with me?"

"Yep, though I can't take advantage of it in the near future." Lexie put an adorable pout on her face. "You'd forbidden me to bring it to use."

"Hey, I just think that it's best when we are taking the sex out of the equation for some time and concentrate on building our relationship on a solid foundation."

"How long exactly do you want to wait?"

"I think a month is enough." Mark replied pensively.

"A month?" Lexie buried her face in his chest and groaned loudly.

"We will survive." Mark smiled, pulling her further into his body.

"I'm not so sure about that." Suddenly Lexie lifted her head and looked at him with a calculating look on her face. "So just to clear something up. You said I'll get one night."

"That's what I've said." Mark spoke, looking at her questioningly when she suddenly swung one leg over him so that she could straddle him.

"So I can have my way with you till dawn?"

"If you can keep up with me for that long." Mark teased, raising his hands to bury them in her hair, pulling her carefully down to him.

"Definitely. I need something I can live of for the next four weeks." Lexie replied before she kissed him passionately.

"Then let's create some lasting memories." Mark murmured between kisses before he flipped her around and buried her underneath his body. "Let's start with the second round."

* * *

><p><strong>Before anyone asks. No, there is no M version of this chapter. I just didn't feel the need to write any smut. ;-)<strong>

**Okay, stay tuned. Of course I couldn't resist to write something about the last ep. Because Lexie showing up at Mark's door? One of my dreams came true. It was just so unexpected. I will post the one-shot the moment I'm done with it**** and it will definitely contain smut. **


	7. Compensation

**Thanks for the reviews and all the alerts! **

**So let's have some fun, shall we? Lean back and enjoy the Mark and Lexie fluffiness!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 7: Compensation<strong>

"Oh no, don't tell me you are already fighting again?" Meredith exclaimed in disbelief when she saw Lexie sitting at a table in the cafeteria with a full box of peanut butter cups in front of her and what looked like half of the vending machine scattered over the table.

"No. Everything is fine." Lexie grumbled, putting a butter cup into her mouth and after a few seconds of contemplating she unwrapped another one and stuffed it into her mouth.

"You are stress eating." Meredith stated firmly. "What happened at the cabin?"

"Nothing happened at the cabin." Lexie sighed heavily. "It was amazing."

"It doesn't look that way." Meredith replied, not convinced that Mark and her sister hadn't gotten into a fight.

"I'm not stress eating!" Lexie mumbled almost unintelligible around the chocolate in her mouth. "I just need to fight the sexual frustration."

"What sexual frustration are you talking about?" Meredith asked surprised. "You two just spent a whole weekend in a cabin all by yourselves. I'm sure McSteamy lived up to his reputation or did he get limp on his old days?" Meredith mocked ambiguously.

"Ha, ha, very funny!" Lexie said, not in the slightest amused. "But actually he _was_ McSteamy and believe me he was _very_ steamy. But only for the first night."

"How so? I would have guessed you would hardly get dressed the whole weekend."

"We agreed to have no sex for one month."

"What?" Meredith asked disbelievingly. "You can't be serious. How can you agree to that? I've seen Mark without a shirt, you know? Don't tell me that you are able to keep your hands to yourself for four weeks? Not possible."

"First of all, hands off my man! Do you understand?" Lexie wagged her finger with feigned indignation at Meredith. "Secondly, I'm well aware how Mark looks like without a shirt and thirdly ... I have no idea how I should survive the next four weeks without sex." Lexie finally admitted, sighing heavily.

"Well, then just seduce him." Meredith said matter-of-factly. "Shouldn't be that hard?"

"No, he is right. We should take it slow this time." Lexie stated defeated.

"Hmm, I wonder how long you can restrain yourself. I would definitely not be able to." Meredith said teasingly.

"Meredith, stop it!" Lexie exclaimed, shooting an angry look in her direction.

"What?" Meredith asked innocently.

"Making it even harder by telling me what I'm missing out on." Lexie replied. "I know better than you what I'm missing out on."

"True. I'll stop. But can I tell Alex and Cristina?" Meredith said eagerly.

"Don't you dare tell them!" Lexie huffed. "They are only making fun of us as soon as they find out."

"Fine." Meredith pouted. "But you owe me one for keeping this a secret."

~M&L~

Derek had searched for Mark about twenty minutes, wanting to know how the weekend went. He finally found him where he had least expected him. In the fitness room, hitting the punching bag, his shirt already soaked with sweat.

"What are you doing here?"

"What does it look like?" Mark panted heavily, not interrupting to hammer his fists in the bag.

"You seem frustrated." Derek stated. "Why is that? Are you and Lexie fighting again?"

"No. We're fine." Mark replied brusquely.

"Then why are you beating the hell out of this bag?"

"To keep in shape?"

Derek stepped forward and stopped the punching bag from swinging before he looked inquiringly in Mark's face.

"What happened?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." Mark evaded Derek, grabbing a towel to whip the sweat of his face before he walked towards the treadmill. He had still too much energy in his body and needed to distract himself from thinking about Lexie's naked body all the time.

"Why are you tiring yourself out?" Derek asked curiously. "Isn't Lexie young enough to keep up with your sex drive?"

When Mark didn't answer but only threw him an angry look, Derek gasped loudly.

"No. Don't tell me that you hadn't any sex yet."

"We had sex." Mark said firmly. "But only the first night."

"Why?" Derek asked totally dumbfounded. He would have guessed that they would hardly do anything else over the weekend.

"We agreed to take it slow." Mark elaborated quietly.

"How on earth could you agree to that? You'll never be able to go through with it."

"It was actually my idea." Mark confessed though he already questioned his sanity for coming up with such a ludicrous idea.

"What? No way. Please tell me you're joking." Derek asked almost pleadingly, not wanting to deal with Mark for the next four weeks when he couldn't have sex with Lexie.

"No joke."

"You ached for her for such a long time. Shouldn't you be celebrating that you two are finally together again?" Derek asked, still not able to wrap his head around the fact that they swore celibacy for twenty-eight days.

"We don't need to have sex to celebrate." Mark replied slightly angry because it was true. As much as he wanted to drag Lexie into the next bed the fact that he was back together with her again was what counted.

"True. But it's definitely a big part of a reunion."

"I just don't want to screw it up this time, Derek." Mark said quietly. "I can't screw it up."

"I get it. But I'm still curious who is going to break first." Derek told him with a big smile on his face. "You or Lexie?"

"No one is breaking." Mark stated determined. He was convinced that they could make it. It was only for four weeks after all.

"We'll see."

~M&L~

"Lex?" Lexie turned around with a huge smile on her face when she heard Mark's voice behind her.

"Hey, handsome." Lexie wrapped his hands around his neck and pulled him down to give him a brief kiss but couldn't resist to deepen the kiss and what started as an innocent kiss became very passionate within seconds. When they finally came up for air, Mark grinned down at her flushed face.

"What was that for?"

"I don't know." Lexie shrugged her shoulders before another smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. "It just came over me."

"It came over you?" Mark grinned back, feeling a tug in his stomach when he saw Lexie beaming up to him.

"Well, your lips were just staring at me and ..." Lexie tried to explain but Mark interrupted her.

"Lips can't stare!"

"Of course they can. They can even speak."

"Really?" Mark had a hard time to not break out into laughter. He'd missed it so much to fool around with her. She never ceased to surprise him.

"Yep, they screamed at me. 'Kiss us, kiss us, kiss us.' I only granted them their wish." Lexie deadpanned.

"Sure."

"Why? Do you have any complaints?" Lexie asked him with feigned innocence in her voice.

"Not in the slightest." Mark replied, leaning down to give her another kiss.

"So, what did you want from me in the first place?" Lexie breathed after he released her lips.

"My lips only wanted to scream at you." Mark joked lightheartedly.

"That's all?"

"Nope. Be ready at eight. I'll pick you up and we are going on a proper date."

"Seriously?" Lexie asked slightly surprised.

"I thought when we are taking it slow we could at least indulge in some fancy eating."

"Where are we going?" Lexie said, getting more and more excited.

"I'm not telling. It's a surprise." Mark grinned, well aware that she loved surprises.

"Dress code?" Lexie asked eagerly.

"You should dress up." Mark replied.

"Okay. Dressing up it is." Lexie smiled happily.

"See you in a few hours."

"I'm looking forward to it."

~M&L~

Lexie didn't know why she was so nervous. She felt as if she was going out on a first date. She had put on a dress that she hadn't worn before. It had been buried in a corner of her closet but when she contemplated about which dress she could be wearing tonight she remembered this dress. It was a deep blue satin dress that shimmered almost black when it was hit by the light. It stopped right above her knees and was hold only by small straps over her shoulders that crisscrossed in the back. Completing her outfit with fitting high heels and ear rings, she took one last look in the mirror and decided that everything was perfect.

When the door bell rang only seconds later, her stomach began to flutter and she had to laugh about herself when she hurried as fast as she could down the stairs. She couldn't remember the last time she was that excited and Lexie opened the door with a big smile on her face that froze in amazement when she saw Mark.

She had a weakness for men in suits. Almost every man looked better when dressed in a suit. But Mark Sloan dressed up in a suit took her breath away. She didn't even want to know how much he'd paid for the one he was wearing right now. He was wearing a deep blue shirt that emphasized his eyes and fit almost perfectly to her dress even though he hadn't seen this particular dress before. The anthracite suit with fitting tie hugged his form and let her realize once again how amazingly well-built he was.

"How should I not drag you into bed tonight?" Lexie blurted out without any preamble and Mark laughed out loud.

"You look fantastic too." Mark smiled, handing her one single red rose.

Lexie grabbed his tie cautiously and pulled him towards her to kiss him thoroughly.

"Good evening, Dr. Sloan"

"Good evening, Dr. Grey. Ready to go?"

"Yes. Just let me put the rose in a vase. Give me a minute." When Lexie returned she grabbed her purse from the dresser and Mark helped her into her coat. On the way to his car Lexie asked once again.

"So where are we going?"

"Still not telling. You have to be patient."

~M&L~

They drove about half an hour before they stopped shortly after they crossed the Aurora Bridge. Lexie stared with awe at the facade of the restaurant in front of them.

"Canlis? I've heard of it but I've never been there. It's a little too expensive for an intern. The food is said to be excellent and the view phenomenal."

"So you like my choice?"

"Yes, I've heard it's one of the most romantic restaurants in Seattle."

When they entered the restaurant, Lexie's jaw almost dropped down when she saw the interior of the restaurant. The simple elegance was breathtaking and she was glad that she decided to wear this particular dress.

"How can I help you?" The maître d' approached them.

"We have a reservation." Mark said.

"Can I have your name, please?"

"Dr. Mark Sloan." Mark replied and Lexie could swear that the demeanor of the maître d' changed immediately.

"Ahh, Dr. Sloan. Everything is arranged for you. Would you please follow me?"

"What was that all about?" Lexie whispered.

"What do you mean?" Mark replied as quietly.

"What did they need to arrange?" Lexie asked but before Mark could answer the maître d' turned left, away from the restaurant area. "Aehmm, Mark? Where are we going? We just passed the restaurant."

"Nobody said something about eating in the restaurant."

"Not? But where are we eating then?"

Suddenly the maître d' stopped in front of an elevator and as soon as the door opened he gestured them inside before he pressed the button for the penthouse.

"Your private server is already waiting upstairs. Enjoy your evening."

"Thank you." Mark said and as soon as the doors closed in front of them he turned around, smiling broadly, waiting for Lexie's inevitable question. He didn't have to wait very long.

"The penthouse?" Lexie blurted out.

"You'll see." Mark said without any further explanation.

When the doors opened Lexie stepped in the room cautiously, looking around amazed at the room that lay before her. It had an L-shaped form and the whole window front was out of glass from the ceiling to the floor. Lexie didn't even realize that Mark helped her out of her coat before she rushed to the glass front looking out over the Lake Union, drinking in the phenomenal view.

"Mark, you're insane!" Lexie exclaimed as she turned around to Mark, her eyes still widened in wonder. "This whole room only for us two?"

"Well, we only take an aperitif here before we go to a smaller room to eat." Mark replied, happy that his surprise apparently was a complete success.

"This must have cost you a fortune." Lexie said, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Consider it to be a compensation for all dates I couldn't give you at the very beginning of our relationship where we were dating secretly and for all the things I screwed up since then."

"That wasn't necessary, Mark." Lexie replied quietly.

"I know. But I wanted to spoil you a little today. I hope I didn't overshoot the mark." Mark said, getting a little concerned that Lexie might be overwhelmed by all his efforts.

Lexie looked around bright-eyed, taking in all the little details. The flowers that were arranged throughout the whole room and the discreet music playing in the background.

"No. It's perfect. Thank you, Mark."

"You're welcome." Mark ushered her to the bar where the barkeeper was already waiting for their orders. "So what do you want? Champagne or rather a cocktail?"

"I can't drink a cocktail in this ambience. Champagne is just ideal for this noble setting."

"So champagne it is. One bottle of your best please." Mark ordered enthusiastically, glad that Lexie seemed to enjoy the evening.

"Mark, you don't have to throw your money out the window like that."

"Just humor me. Okay, Lexie? Only for this one night. We are going back to normal dating after that. I promise. If it makes you feel better then imagine that this is our first date and that I want to impress you."

"Okay." Lexie smiled broadly. "Hmm, our first date? I like the idea."

~M&L~

After they enjoyed an excellent meal with delicious wines, they decided to complete the evening with a crème brûlée as dessert. While they were waiting for the dessert to arrive, Lexie leaned back in her chair happily, sighing heavily when she patted her stomach.

"That was fantastic, Mark." Lexie stated enthusiastically.

"I'm glad you liked it." Mark smiled and Lexie leaned forward on her elbows, looking at him inquiringly.

"So you said this ..." Lexie gestured around the room. "... is sort of a compensation for missed dates and the things you think you screwed up in the past?"

"Sort of. Yeah." Mark said carefully, not sure where she was going with this.

"So ..." Lexie said innocently, while a mischievous grin spread out on her face, making Mark wonder what would come out of her mouth next. "What do I get for not having sex with my ruggedly handsome boyfriend for four weeks?"

"I don't know." Mark smirked. "Do you have something in mind?"

"Yep! I will think of something you have to do for me. Anywhere, any time, anything."

"What do you mean with _something_?" Mark asked curiously, gulping hard when he saw the big grin on Lexie's face. "I'm not stripping in public."

"Very interesting idea." Mark narrowed his eyes and Lexie laughed out loud. "But no. I'm not sharing you with other women. I promise it's not going to be that embarrassing."

"Not that embarrassing? So you have already an idea what you want me to do?"

"Not exactly. But you won't get away that easily. So ... what do you say?"

"I might regret it later." Mark shook his head but he wasn't able to refuse her any wish anyway so he just gave in. "But okay. I'm in. But only one thing."

"Yep, one thing." Lexie replied satisfied.

"I think I already regret it." Mark stated worried upon almost literally seeing Lexie's brain already working in overdrive to come up with something huge.

"Too late." Lexie stated smugly.

~M&L~

"I really enjoyed the evening. Thank you so much for this amazing first date, Mark." Lexie spoke softly as Mark escorted her to the door.

"It was my pleasure."

Lexie raised herself on her tiptoes and pressed a firm kiss on his lips before she looked into his eyes mischievously.

"Do you think I'm a slut because I kissed you on the first date?"

"Of course not. I actually kind of liked it." Mark smiled, playing along as if they were really on their first date.

"Ohhh, so I can do it again?" Lexie asked him teasingly.

"Anytime, Dr. Grey, anytime."

"What about now? Can I have a repeat performance now?" The playful tone was gone from her voice replaced by an almost pleading tone.

"Lex, we agreed to take it slow." Mark replied, almost wavering when he saw the look in her eyes.

"I know. One kiss. Then I'll shut up. Promise." Lexie begged.

"I don't know if I'm able to stop."

"Mark, give me a real kiss." Lexie insisted. "Or should I tell the whole hospital tomorrow that Mark Sloan can apparently not kiss because he refused to give me a proper good-night kiss."

"You're a little devil. Come here." Mark pulled her towards him and threaded a hand into her hair, cupping her cheek with his palm while his other hand tightened around her waist before he leaned down, giving her a toe-curling kiss that left her body aching for more.

"Satisfied?" Mark asked softly, when Lexie opened her eyes reluctantly.

"Never. I can never get enough of you." Lexie replied breathlessly, snuggling deeper into his embrace.

"Glad to hear it." Mark brushed with his thumb over her cheek before he stepped back. "Good-night, Lex."

Lexie released him reluctantly out of her arms before she whispered after his retreating form. "Good-night, Mark."

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><p><strong>If you want to know how the penthouse and the room where they enjoyed their meal (the Caché) in the restaurant look like just google it. It's the Canlis restaurant in Seattle. I would love to eat there too. LOL. <strong>

**Okay, in the next chapter you'll find out what Lexie came up with to let Mark compensate for the no sex rule. Oh, and if anyone of you want to see something specific in this story. Just tell me and I'll try to incorporate it. There is definitely going to be a Lexie/Sofia talk. But other than that I'm open to suggestions. So shoot!**


	8. You've got it all

**Thanks for the reviews. Totally made my week. Real life is extremely crazy right now so I'm sorry that there was no update last week but this TV season is torturing my shipper heart and I needed to release some of my frustration with Barney and Robin and started a new story. So, sorry for the delay! **

**Sooo ... how shall I put it? There is going to be some suggestive language in this chapter. But not even remotely M-worthy in my opinion. Those of you who know the song **_Butterfly _**from **_Jason Mraz_ **know what I'm talking about. Everyone else should check the song out before reading. It's an essential part of this chapter. ;-) **

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><p><strong>Chapter 8: You've got it all<strong>

"Did you already come up with something good?" Meredith asked Lexie as she leaned against the counter of the nurse station next to her sister. Lexie had told her about the deal she had with Mark after Meredith had asked her how she was able to not jump him the moment they were alone in a room.

"No. Not really. It has to be something juicy. I don't want him to get away too easily." Lexie replied, sighing softly.

"How long do you think these two are going to dance around each other before they finally give in?" Lexie followed Meredith's gaze and saw Roger and Alice, two interns, standing at the top of the stairs, talking to each other, leaning together just a little too close to be considered only friends.

"I don't know. But in this hospital I'll give them only one more week." Lexie laughed out loud but suddenly stopped when she recalled Meredith's exact words. "Dance around? Meredith, you are a genius!"

Without giving any explanation Lexie bustled off and Meredith shouted after her. "What did I say?"

~M&L~

"Hey." Lexie greeted Mark when she finally found him in his office.

"Hey, yourself." Mark replied.

"When do you get off on Friday?" Lexie asked him.

"At two. Why?"

"We are going out." Lexie stated firmly. "Meredith, Derek, Cristina, Alex, you and me."

"Where?" Mark asked curiously

"Neighbours!"

"Okay!"

"And I want you to look sexy." Lexie added.

"I'm always looking sexy. Wait a sec." Mark furrowed his eye brows in suspicion. "You came up with something to let me pay for the 'no sex' rule, didn't you?" Lexie only grinned and nodded enthusiastically. "What is it?"

"You have to wait till Friday to find out." Lexie replied.

~M&L~

"So what is it? What do I have to do?" Mark asked over the music, curious to find out what Lexie came up with. Fortunately _Neighbours_ was one of the clubs where you could actually talk to each other because the music wasn't as loud as in other clubs.

Lexie smiled at him and turned her head, looking at the slightly raised separate dance floor with a pole in the middle that left only room for two.

"Oh no, Lexie. You can't be serious." Mark groaned.

"You've said you would do anything for me." Lexie pouted.

"I wasn't talking about something like that and you know it."

"You've promised."

"I knew this would bite me in the ass." Mark sighed heavily before he asked her hopefully. "I don't get out of it, do I?"

"Nope."

"So what's the song?" Mark asked, already dreading her answer when he saw the mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Remember when you told me that you can dance and I didn't believe you?" Lexie asked, waiting impatiently for his inevitable reaction.

"Oh no, no way."

"This song and I want the full performance."

"You are aware that the full performance means that you have to join me after one minute into the song." Mark grinned smugly.

"Aehmm, ..." Lexie cursed inwardly because she had completely forgotten that the last time he'd danced to this song for her, he'd pulled her up to dance with him and it'd gotten very, very steamy.

"Ha, you forgot about that part, huh?"

"Can I change the song?" Lexie asked him, hoping that he would let her change the song.

"No, you chose this one. So you are in it with me."

"Damn."

Mark only grinned broadly before he dropped a brief kiss on her lips and walked over to the separate dance floor.

"You really make him dance up there?" Meredith asked slightly shocked. "With the pole?"

"Yep." Lexie replied smugly.

"You know that this is the ultimate proof of his love, right?"

"Yep."

"Can he at least dance or will he embarrass himself completely?" Meredith asked curiously.

"Oh, he can dance. Believe me. He is amazing."

"So, which song did you choose?" But when the song started and Meredith heard the first beats of Jason Mraz's _Butterfly_ she smiled broadly. "Oh yeah, this is going to be good."

Mark turned around and almost stood motionless through the first beats of the music, only swaying his hips slightly. Locking eyes with Lexie, his mouth curled up in a lopsided grin when he sang along to the music.

_Taking a moment just imagining that I'm dancing with you,_

_I'm your pole and all you're wearing is your shoes_

Mark's finger trailed along the pole and Lexie blushed when goosebumps erupted over her whole body as she imagined Mark's finger trailing over her skin and not the pole.

_You've got soul,_

_you know what to do to turn me on,_

_until I write a song about you,_

_and you have your own engaging style,_

_you've got the knack to vivify_

Mark's eyes never left Lexie's and she stood mesmerized in her spot, watching the love of her life dancing for her.

_And you make my slacks a little tight,_

_you may unfasten them if you like,_

_that's if you crash and spend the night_

Mark's hand brushed over his belt buckle as if the text of the song was an invitation and she remembered the first time he had danced to this song for her. Like back then heat shot through her whole body and desire flooded over her as Mark picked up the pace when the rhythm of the song sped up, making her mouth go dry.

"You are not willing to share him, are you?" Cristina asked, completely captivated by Mark's performance.

"Cristina, you are married!" Meredith exclaimed, though she couldn't look away from Mark either.

"I know but look at him. Damn, this man can dance." Cristina sighed heavily.

"Hey, no sharing here. Not even for a dance. I'm the only one who is dancing with him."

"It looks like he wants you to join him." Cristina said when Mark stretched out his hand towards Lexie.

"I know. So brace yourself. It's going to be hot."

Lexie walked towards Mark, suppressing a grin when the music suddenly slowed down considerably and his eyes burnt into hers when his mouth moved with the words.

_Curl your upper lip up and let me look around_

Mark pulled Lexie into his arms, pressing her firmly into his body.

_Ride your tongue along your bottom lip and bite down_

Leaning down he took her bottom lip carefully between his teeth while he threaded his hands in her hair.

_And bend your back and ask those hips if I can touch_

His hands trailed down her body until they rested on her hips.

_Well, they are the perfect jumping up point_

_Getting closer to your butterfly_

Lexie jumped up and Mark steadied her so that she could wrap her legs around his waist, his hips pushing upwards on the last word.

It only lasted a second and he was fairly certain that no one noticed what he just did before Lexie pushed herself away and jumped back to the ground.

"Tell me he didn't just do what I think he did." Meredith said incredulously, her eyes wide open in utter disbelief.

"Aehmm, I'm pretty sure he did exactly what you think he did. I know this song is dirty but these two are taking it to a whole new level of dirty." Cristina stated, her eyes glued to the couple on the dance floor.

"They are aware that they are in public, aren't they?" Meredith shook her head, not believing what she just saw with her own eyes.

"Not so sure about that but it's hot. I wouldn't have expected that Sloan and Little Grey can dance like that." Alex interjected.

"I need a cold shower." Cristina said, fanning her face with her hand.

"I had no idea that they both could dance." Meredith stated, watching Mark and Lexie dancing. Their lower bodies were glued together, not even a paper would fit between them and they were moving totally in sync.

"Mark doesn't like to dance in public because the women are always going crazy when he starts to dance." Derek explained.

"Of course. Look at him. He is smoking hot and he can dance." Meredith said, slightly breathless.

"You do remember that you are married to me, don't you?" Derek asked her, amused by the slack-jawed expression on the face of his wife.

"Oh my god. They are fantastic together." Meredith stated without reacting to Derek's question.

"I'm sure their sex is unbelievable." Cristina assumed.

"I can't wait to hear how they were able to not jump each other after this dance." Meredith smiled.

"What do you mean, not jumping each other? The moment they are behind closed doors they are going to rip the clothes of each other. Actually I'm not even sure that they are going to make it to the apartment." Alex looked at her with raised eye brows, completely clueless what Meredith was talking about.

"No, they won't have sex tonight. They decided to wait one month." Meredith explained.

"You've gotta be kidding me." Alex said stunned.

"No. I'm not kidding." Meredith grinned at the utter disbelief on Alex's face.

"Now I understand why it seems that they ooze sexual pheromones out of every pore of their bodies." Cristina said.

"Definitely explains Sloan's hungry look." Alex stated.

"Well, Lexie looks very turned on too." Cristina told him.

"Completely understandable." Meredith said.

"Would you stop it?" Derek exclaimed slightly frustrated.

"Come on, Derek. Admit it! You would have never thought that they would make it a month. Especially Mark." Meredith turned around to her husband.

"How do you know they didn't do it already?" Derek asked her.

"Because of how intense they are looking at each other! Remember the prom of the Chief's niece?" Meredith replied.

"Oh yeah!" Derek's lip curled up in a smug grin, remembering extremely well what happened in a certain exam room that night.

"So you can see that these two haven't had sex in quiet some time?" Meredith asked.

"You are right." Derek replied.

"I don't get it. What should that prove?" Alex was still not able to wrap his head around the fact that they would go without sex for four weeks and even voluntarily.

"They want to take it slow." Meredith told him.

"That doesn't exclude sex in my book." Alex said firmly.

"Of course not." Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Oh my ..." Cristina's exclamation caused Meredith to look back at the couple on the dance floor.

Mark had pressed Lexie against the pole, her face was flushed. Suddenly he twirled her around so that she was facing the pole before he lowered his lips to her ear. They were totally absorbed in their own world as if they had forgotten where they were. Meredith felt like an intruder by only watching them.

"You pull your knee socks up," Mark breathed into her ear, singing along, his hands trailing down her body. "Let me feel you upside down, slide in, slide out, slide over here, climb into my mouth now." Lexie could feel his fingers at the underside of her breasts and she held her breath when he tilted her head back so that he could kiss her passionately before he pushed back and twirled her into his arms.

"How is she able to withstand this assault of testosterone?" Cristina shook her head in disbelief.

"How is he able to restrain himself from throwing her against the next wall?" Alex asked in response.

"Please, get me out of here. I feel like I'm at a frat party." Derek muttered exasperatedly.

"And miss this? No chance. I will enjoy every second of watching Mark dance. I don't know when I'm going to see it again. If ever." Meredith teased.

"Can you stop drooling over my best friend?" Derek scowled.

"Jealous?" Meredith smiled at him.

"Maybe a little." Derek admitted.

"Don't worry. I'm only looking." Meredith explained.

"You are doing this on purpose!" Derek said.

"You're just such an easy mark." Meredith laughed out loud before she turned her gaze back to Mark and Lexie, not willing to miss another second of their dance.

~M&L~

"That totally backfired, huh?" Mark stated as he slowed them down as the song came slowly to an end.

"Hmm?" Lexie hummed into his shirt.

"I'm not really paying for the 'no sex' rule." Mark clarified. "It kind of makes it even worse. Don't you think?"

"At least I got you to dance with me in public." Lexie leaned back and smiled up at him. "You've always refused to do so and judging by the slack-jawed expressions around us you were very impressive."

"It turned you on, didn't it?" Mark asked smugly.

"Sure it did." Lexie stated and when the last beats of the song faded away, she started to leave his embrace but Mark's arms hindered her to get away.

"Stop, you are not going anywhere!"

"But the song is over." Lexie furrowed her brows in confusion. She would have guessed that he would be glad when he could stop dancing.

"Well, the song might be over but I need a little time before I can let you go." Mark explained.

"What do you mean?" Mark only shifted slightly and Lexie's mouth curled up in a smug grin as she felt his erection pressing into her thigh. "Oh, I see."

"This whole 'no sex' thing isn't easy for me either." Mark whispered into her ear. "But I kind of like the suspense."

"Makes the actual act that much better, huh?" Lexie replied mischievously.

"Yeah, something like that. Besides, the four weeks are almost over."

"It's been 25 days, 23 hours, ..." Lexie turned his hand around to take a look at his watch. "... 34 minutes and 45 seconds."

"You are counting?" Mark asked surprised.

"Of course I am. I can't wait to rip the clothes of your body."

"Okay, you are not helping."

"Hmm, why?" Lexie swayed her hips in the rhythm of the music, glad that she was a woman and no one was able to see how aroused she was. Contrary to Mark whose arousal she could still feel against her thigh.

"If you want to get off the dance floor anytime soon you have to stop, Lex."

"I know. But on Sunday you are all mine. Only you, and me, and a bed."

"Is a bed that important?" Mark raised his eye brows suggestively.

"You are right. We don't need a bed. It's enough when we are only barricading the apartment and switch off all our phones. That'll do."

"I'm looking forward to it."

"Me too. Me too." Lexie replied dreamily, letting the music flow through her body as she wrapped her hands around his neck and lay her head on his shoulder. Mark wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her even closer, burying his face in her hair, happy to have her in his arms.

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><p><strong>If you want to see the dance scene that inspired me go on youtube and search for <strong>_"David Boreanaz shirtless and dancing"_**. I had this scene in my head while I was writing the scene without the ripping off the shirt part. Well, I wouldn't have minded if Lexie would have ripped Mark's shirt off but I don't think that it would have been appropriate. LOL. **


	9. Bathroom talk

**Thanks for the reviews.**

**I took a little break because I had to recharge my writing batteries. I've noticed that even though I'm actually too old to drool over actors that it really helps. Well, how can you not drool if you see a man like Alex O'Loughlin in a boxer outfit. Damn, I almost fell from the couch when I saw this scene. There is nothing better than seeing a handsome man with an incredible body shirtless to make you feel refreshed. ;-) You can thank him for this chapter. Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 9: Bathroom talk<strong>

"Go!" Lexie pushed Mark towards the door, not able to suppress a smile when she saw the reluctant expression on his face. "We'll be fine!"

"I know that. But I don't want to go! I want to stay with you two here. It's my day off!" Mark whined with an adorable pout on his face.

"Mark!" Lexie tapped impatiently with her foot on the floor. "It's an emergency. They need you at the hospital. Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you."

"Sofia and I will have a girl's day, making only stuff you don't want to participate in anyway."

"Like what?"

"Pedicure, manicure, ..."

"You are joking, right?" Mark's face grew pale when he imagined his daughter getting her nails polished.

"Seriously, Mark?" Lexie laughed out loud. "You really believe that I would take an one-year-old to a pedicure or manicure?" Lexie shook her head, turning her gaze on Sofia who was comfortable sitting on her arm. "Men! I think I will talk to you a little about the opposite sex today. God knows you'll need it in the future."

"Don't believe everything she says." Mark trailed his finger over Sofia's cheek and she rewarded him with a big grin. "Especially not when she talks about me."

Lexie grabbed his leather jacket from the bar stool and pushed it into his arms. "Go!"

"Hey, no need to shove me out of my own apartment."

"Your dad is being silly!" Lexie explained to Sofia. "Like I'm even capable to shove him, considering how big and burly he is."

"Lex?" Mark said with a warning tone in his voice. "Don't overdo it."

Lexie only looked up at him with a big grin on her face and his heart skipped a beat when he looked at the love of his life standing in front of him with his daughter in her arms. Just a few months ago he wouldn't have thought that Lexie would ever come back to him let alone that she tried to get along with Sofia. The fact that she treated her without any resentment made him love her even more.

"I'll be back as soon as I can." Mark said, leaning down to give Lexie and Sofia a brief good bye kiss. "Enjoy your girl's day."

"Will do." When the door closed behind Mark, Lexie looked down at Sofia. "What should we do first?" Sofia yawned and Lexie grinned. "Good idea. First activity of the day. We are going to take a nap so that we are well rested for the rest of the day."

~M&L~

It had been a quiet day. Mark had called her a few hours ago to tell her that it would take longer than expected because he needed to scrub in on an emergency surgery. Sofia was mostly content to sit in her play pen and talking to her stuffed toys in an incomprehensible babble and Lexie lay on the couch reading a book while she waited for Mark to come home.

Mark didn't mention anything but it was Sunday after all. The four weeks were over and Lexie had the day off tomorrow. The moment Mark had told her that he would spend the whole day in surgery she'd called Owen to tell him with a firm voice that Mark needed the next day off. Owen didn't even question her. Maybe Cristina had told him about the whole thing. Lexie didn't care. She just wanted to be able to keep Mark up all night without having a guilty conscience that he wouldn't get enough sleep.

Looking up from her book, she decided that she could take a bath. Callie would take Sofia back to her place around six so that Lexie would have Mark to herself for the whole evening and night and she was determined to enjoy every single second.

"Okay, let's get pretty for daddy, shall we?"

Lexie bent down and scooped Sofia up in her arms before she lowered herself carefully to take the baby bouncer with her. When she reached the bathroom she put Sofia in her bouncer before she walked out once more to pour herself a glass of red wine. After she had filled the bath tub, she lowered herself cautiously in the hot water and sighed contentedly.

"You know what? A hot bath is just awesome." Lexie took a swig of the wine and turned her head towards Sofia.

"I promised you a girl's talk earlier, right?" Lexie smiled when she saw Sofia chewing on her fingers. There was definitely something refreshing about talking to someone who couldn't talk back and didn't understand what you were talking about anyway.

"Men think that they are very complicated creatures but in fact it's very easy to see through them if you look only hard enough. But your dad is really something special, you know. You might say that I'm biased because I'm in love with him and you're right. That I'm in love with him, not that I'm biased. He is really a great man and you're lucky to have him as your dad. He will never stop loving you. He will protect you for the rest of his life."

Lexie was so engrossed in talking to Sofia that she didn't hear the door when Mark entered the apartment. He already wanted to shout out when he heard Lexie's voice coming from the bathroom but he was curious what she was talking about so he walked quietly over to the door and leaned against the wall beside it. From this angle he was able to see Sofia in the baby bouncer through the half open door but was out of sight for Lexie though he could hear her voice clearly.

"It might get a little annoying when you'll start dating because he might scare off some of the boys who want to go out with you but if they can't withstand Mark Sloan they are not worth your time anyway."

Mark smiled broadly upon hearing this. Because Lexie was right. He hadn't thought that far ahead until now but he would make sure that the boys who would be in contact with his daughter in the future would know that he would hunt them down if they would ever hurt her.

"Love is never easy. Believe me. Everyone who tells you otherwise is a liar. If you want to be in a happy relationship you need to make compromises and the most important thing is that you need to talk to each other. Your dad and I didn't talk when you were on your way. I was angry at him. Very angry. Because he'd slept with your mother. I really thought that I couldn't stand the sight of you because you are the living proof of that."

Mark's heart clenched painfully when he heard the sadness in her voice. She came back to him but that didn't mean that she would ever forget what happened. And how could she? Sofia would be always there to remind her. He almost entered the room to wrap her into his arms but when she continued to speak he slumped back against the wall.

"But I was wrong. I won't lie. It's not easy. I've tried to stay away from your dad because I was so sure that I couldn't live with the fact that he has a daughter with another woman. Again. But truth to be told ..." Mark held his breath, mesmerized by the change in her voice. The sadness was gone and he could hear that she was smiling. "I can't live without him. He is the love of my life and I know that we can make it work. True love conquers all, right?"

Mark gulped hard and his heart was beating faster with the love he felt for the woman inside the room. They'd hurt each other over and over again but they still came out alive on the other end. With a lot of scars but they made it. Their love had arisen like a phoenix from his ashes and he was extremely grateful for that.

"You know, your dad and I never had it easy. A lot of people don't understand how I could fall in love with a man who is fifteen years older than I am. I didn't plan it. It just happened. For a while they were able to keep us apart because I thought that they might be right. That we can't make it work because of the age difference. But I've realized that I can't let other people dictate my life. My heart knows what it wants and no matter how hard you try to go in another direction it always pulls you back."

Mark remembered their conversation in front of the vending machine where she had said those exact same words to him, though back then they had been spoken in anger.

"I actually said it to your dad once. I was still angry at him that he didn't want to accept that I wanted to move on and I pushed him away and slapped him in the face. Figuratively speaking of course. He did what I told him to. He let me go. He did exactly what I've thought I wanted him to do. But the moment he'd moved on with another woman I've realized that I didn't want him to move on, that I wanted him back. I've almost lost him forever. So believe me, you should listen to your heart when you start dating. I'm sure it will lead you to the right man."

Mark could hear shuffling from inside before Lexie's voice floated out of the room again.

"I should probably get out of the bath. Your dad should be here any minute and we want to look pretty for him, don't we?"

"You always look beautiful. No matter what." Mark spoke softly as he slipped into the room.

Lexie shrieked quietly and the water splashed over the edge of the bath tub when she clapped her hand over her heart.

"Mark! Don't scare me like that." Lexie said breathlessly, her eyes narrowing suspiciously when she saw the earnest expression on his face. "How long have you been home?"

"I love you." Mark kneeled in front of the bath tub, not caring that the wetness soaked his pants when he reached out with one hand, brushing his thumb over her bottom lip. "I love you." Mark leaned forward and pressed a firm kiss on her lips.

"You were eavesdropping, weren't you?" Lexie whispered when he released her lips, her eyes still closed.

"Guilty." Mark leaned back slightly and waited until Lexie opened her eyes again, his hand cradling her cheek. "You are the most extraordinary woman I've ever met. I don't deserve a woman like you." Mark said, shaking his head slightly.

"Mark, ..." Lexie started to speak, laying her hand over his. "I love you. Stop talking like that. Don't put me on a pedestal. I'm not perfect. I've made mistakes too. It wasn't all your fault. You are a good man. You should start believing in yourself. I know it's true. I love you. I want to be with _you_. Only you."

"I know. But it's sometimes hard to believe that you are really here. With me."

"You make me happy, Mark. I know that I've told you otherwise a few months ago but ... I've thought that the only thing we are capable of is making each other miserable. But the truth is ... being apart from you makes me miserable. I can't live without you and I'm not letting you convince me otherwise." Lexie smiled at him.

"I'm not trying to convince you otherwise." Mark said hastily.

"Good. So let me get out of here. Take Sofia and have some daddy/daughter time. Because when Callie comes to pick her up you won't have time to think about anything else for several hours." Lexie told him cryptically.

"What do you mean?"

"Seriously, Mark?" Lexie rolled her eyes exasperatedly.

"What?"

"It's Sunday!"

"Sunday?" Mark asked confused before the smug grin on Lexie's face made him realize the significance of the day. "Ohhh, of course. When is Callie going to pick Sofia up?" Mark asked, trying to sound innocently.

Lexie laughed out loud when she saw the hardly suppressed excitement in his eyes. "In three hours. So go and distract yourself. You have to hold out a little longer."

"Why did you bring it up then?" Lexie stood up in the tub and Mark's eyes roamed hungrily over her wet body. "This is torture."

"You think?" Lexie asked mischievously, snipping the foam of one of her breasts.

"Lex, stop teasing!" Mark said hoarsely, realizing that his pants had become uncomfortably tight. "We have a baby in here."

"I've told you that you should go."

"You are a mean, mean woman." Mark grumbled, bending down to lift Sofia out of the baby bouncer. "This ..." Mark pointed towards Lexie while he adjusted Sofia in his arm. " ... my little girl is one mean woman. Don't be like her when you grow up."

"Don't listen to him, Sofia. Like you can see, we women have all the power in our hands."

"Yeah, right. We'll talk again in a few hours."

"Why? Are you going to show me your _powers_?" Lexie asked innocently, her gaze dropping to the bulge in his pants.

"I'm out of here." Mark hurried out of the room, Lexie's laughter following him.

~M&L~

The bathroom talk had been only the beginning. Lexie couldn't resist torturing him the next three hours with seemingly innocent touches or brushing her breasts against his back when she bent over him. She enjoyed seeing him gritting his teeth and balling his hands into fists over and over again. Especially after she'd told him that they both would have the next day off. Judging from the look in his eyes, Mark was well aware what she was doing and Lexie was quite certain that the moment the door closed behind Callie and Sofia that he would smash her instantly against the wall. Only thinking about it aroused her. These four weeks had been just too much time without his naked body at her mercy.

Lexie could almost feel the waves of desire radiating from Mark's body when Callie came to pick up Sofia and the moment Lexie closed the door, his hands dug into her hips and he twirled her around, plastering her with his body against the door.

"So now ..." Mark pierced her down with his gaze and Lexie smiled broadly.

"What now?"

"Now you are going to pay for the last three hours." Mark growled.

"What do you have in mind?" Lexie asked already breathless, wiggling her hips to arouse him even more.

"You are going to scream for more." Mark promised in a dangerously low voice.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." A ball of heat shot into her stomach when she saw the fire in his eyes. It seemed that she had just woken up the dragon.

"Oh, you can be sure." Mark leaned forward and whispered in her ear. "You've tortured me for three hours. Now I'm going to torture _you_ for some time."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't tell me that you don't expect me to rip your clothes off."

"Aehmm, and you are not?" Lexie asked him surprised.

"No." Mark stated firmly. "First of all I'm going to kiss you slowly and thoroughly until your knees gone all weak. Then I might start to take your clothes off. One piece at a time. Before I'm going to taste every little inch of you and if you are a good girl I might reward you by finally giving you what you want."

"And what would that be?" Lexie asked barely above a whisper and Mark only pushed his hips forward to show her exactly what he was going to give her.

"I'm done talking." Mark growled above her lips before he began with his version of torture.

~M&L~

Several hours later they lay exhausted on top of the bed, still panting heavily from the last round of mind-blowingly fantastic sex. Mark turned his head slowly and grinned smugly at Lexie.

"I made you scream."

"Yeah, you did." Lexie rolled her eyes when his grin became even broader. "Like there was even the slightest doubt that you won't."

"I want to make you scream all my life." Mark replied softly. "Even when we are old and wrinkled."

"With the help of the blue pills, of course." Lexie deadpanned.

"Hmm, there are other possibilities to make you scream. My tongue is very skilled."

"I know." Lexie sighed contentedly. "So you think we'll be still together when we are old and wrinkled?"

"Well, I'll get old and wrinkled a lot earlier than you. So yeah, we'll definitely be still together when I am old and wrinkled. But you might want to find another young stud to satisfy you then." Mark smiled at her, making sure that she knew that he was only fooling around.

"Nope. I don't think that's necessary." Lexie replied, happy that they were able to joke about a topic they would have gotten agitated only a few months ago.

"You have that much confidence in my sexual prowess?"

"Don't forget that I have a lot of first-hand experiences."

"Yeah, your hands are definitely very experienced." Mark replied breathlessly when her hand trailed down his chest.

He wouldn't have thought that it could be possible that he would recover that quickly after he'd already made love to her for hours. But looking at Lexie's flushed face and her tousled hair, feeling her hands trailing over his body, her eyes full of desire, he wasn't really surprised that he did.

"Ready for the next round?" Lexie asked mischievously.

"Well, it looks that way, right?" Mark replied.

"Yep. I was just checking if you are up to it without getting a heart attack."

"Excuse me?"

"You were the one who pointed out that you are much older than I am. I just wanted to make sure that you can keep up with me." Lexie said innocently.

Mark wrapped his hand around hers before she could reach him and rolled atop of her, pressing her into the mattress.

"You are truly a very, very, _very_ mean woman. I'm sure I'm going to die during sex. But I'll die as a happy man."

"So ... if we don't have to fear a heart attack can I have my way with you now?"

Mark rolled on his back and took her with him so that she lay atop of him now. Folding his arms behind his head, he grinned up at her.

"Sure. Have your way with me."

"I don't think we'll get out of this bed any time soon." Lexie sighed, clearly not unhappy about that fact.

"Like we would want to leave it anyway." Mark replied.

"True. I have Mark Sloan in my bed and he just gave me all the power."

"Wait a sec. No one said anything about power."

"Hush!" Lexie pressed her finger against his lips, smiling down at him. "I'm done talking."

With those words Lexie leaned down and sealed his lips with hers, glad that they had still hours ahead of them to make love over and over again.

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><p><strong>Okay, with this chapter I actually used up the last of my ideas for this story though I know what I want to write as an epilog. So unless you give me some new ideas there is only one chapter left. So shoot! :-)<strong>

**If any one of you is interested in the incredible body I mentioned at the beginning of the chapter. Go on YouTube and search for '**_Steve McGarrett fight scene_**'. The best version is from H50GermanFanForum. Brace yourself when they open the curtain. My colleagues were impressed by his body too. :-)**


	10. The silence before the storm

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**I think you might be happy to hear that I got struck by an idea for this fic. Hmm, maybe not so happy when you'll get to the end of the chapter. Don't forget that you didn't want this story to end. :-)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 10: The silence before the storm<strong>

"What's wrong?" Meredith asked, grabbing Lexie's arm to support her when her sister began to sway.

"Everything alright, Lexie?" Derek said concerned. She was extremely pale and he could see small beads of sweat on her forehead.

"I'm feeling a little dizzy. Could be the flu." Lexie explained. "I'm not feeling so well for the last couple of days."

"Should we check it out?" Meredith asked.

"No, I'm fine. It's not ..." Lexie trailed off as she slumped into Derek's arms.

"Woaww, what happened?" Derek said, glad that he had been able to catch her before she had hit the ground.

"She passed out." Meredith told him.

Bending down, Derek slid his arms under Lexie's knees and lifted her into his arms, carrying her slowly towards the next exam room. "Let's draw some blood. Just to make sure that everything is alright."

~M&L~

"What happened? Are you okay?" Mark rushed to her bedside, a worried look on his face. "Let me see that."

Mark snatched the chart out of the nurse's hand and the nurse just rolled her eyes. She had to deal with a lot of agitated husbands but if they were doctors themselves you couldn't argue with them. Especially not with someone like Dr. Sloan. Everyone in this hospital knew how protective he was of his girlfriend. Especially after they just got back together. The nurse smiled secretly. He was definitely in for a surprise.

"Mark?" Lexie tried to get his attention but he just scanned her blood values without looking up. "Mark!" Lexie said more urgently. She didn't want him to read it. She wanted to tell him by herself. "Mark! Would you please look at me? I'm fine."

"Just a sec. I just want to check by myself. Everything looks nor..." Mark furrowed his brows and Lexie knew that it was too late. He had seen the hCG level.

Mark looked up at her, his eyes wide in shock. "No."

"That isn't exactly the reaction I was hoping for." Lexie furrowed her brows, not happy with the shocked expression she saw on his face.

"I mean ... how?" Mark stuttered.

"Not really better. You damn well know how it happened." Lexie stated slightly angry.

"But ..." Mark gulped hard. "You are on the pill, aren't you?"

"Don't you think it's a little too late to ask me that?" Lexie asked agitated. She hadn't expected him to jump up and down with joy but she hadn't expected this reaction either.

"I ... I'm sorry, Lex." Mark replied quietly.

"You are sorry?" Lexie asked him incredulously.

"I know you don't want to have kids right now. So yeah, I'm sorry." Mark stretched out his hand but suddenly hesitated and put it on her thigh, looking down at the white sheet between his fingers before he asked her barely above a whisper. "Will you keep it?"

Lexie's heart clenched painfully when she heard his question. She saw the tension in his whole body, saw him prepare himself for the answer he feared she would give him. Lexie raised her hand and put her hand over his. "Mark, look at me."

Reluctantly he lifted his head and the desperate look in his eyes almost broke her heart. How could he even think for one second that she would abort his child?

"Of course I'm going to keep it. I love you, Mark. Sure I didn't plan on getting pregnant but ..." Lexie pulled their intertwined hands over her stomach, a big smile on her face. "This is our child, Mark. We made a new life. I love you. To be honest I was shocked at first but it took me only a few seconds to get all excited." Lexie tightened her grip around his hand. "I'm pregnant with your child, Mark. It can't get any better."

"Are you sure?" Mark asked hesitantly. "I mean, I don't want to pressure you into anything. It wouldn't be the first time that I try to force you into something you aren't ready for."

"I'm sure. We are going to have a baby!" Lexie had a silly grin on her face. She couldn't stop smiling since the moment she found out that she was pregnant.

Mark looked at her inquiringly for a few more seconds but the happy and excited expression on her face convinced him that she really wanted this child.

"We are going to have a baby?" Mark asked softly. He could still not believe that she was pregnant. That he would have a child with the woman he loved.

Without taking his hand of Lexie's stomach he climbed into bed with her and wrapped his arm around her, burying his head in her hair. Tears welled up in his eyes as he whispered. "I love you, Lexie. You just made me the happiest man on this planet."

~M&L~

When Derek checked on Lexie an hour later, Mark was still lying next to her on the bed, his hand planted protectively over her stomach.

"Dr. Sloan, you are aware that you are not allowed to lie in bed with my patient." Derek smirked.

"Shut up, Derek." Mark replied without looking up, his eyes locked with Lexie's.

Derek was happy for his best friend. They had been through a lot. But he still couldn't believe that his best friend would become a father again. "I have to ask, Mark. How is this even possible?"

"Huh?"

"Do you have super sperm or something like that?" Derek deadpanned.

"Derek?" Lexie exclaimed reproachfully.

"What? I know that you are on the pill. You told me when I showed you your hCG level and he ..." Derek pointed towards Mark. " ... told me that he used a condom the last time. I seriously have no idea how he can manage to get four women pregnant without even trying."

Though Derek's tone was lighthearted, Lexie could still hear the earnest undertone. It was kind of insane if you consider that Meredith and Derek had tried for months and Mark only seemed to have to look at women to get them pregnant. She could understand that Derek felt slightly resentful but she wouldn't let him dampen the mood.

"Derek, I'm sorry. I know you two have been trying for months. But can't you be a little happy for us?" Lexie asked him tentatively.

"I am happy for you." Derek said firmly. "I'm just a little angry at god or the universe or whatever."

"Derek?" Mark spoke quietly, waiting until his best friend made eye contact before he continued. "I know it's hard, Derek. But it's not as if we were bedded on roses over the last few years."

Derek averted his gaze guiltily. Mark was right. They just got back together after spending almost two years apart. He should stop being so bitter. It was a happy occasion. These two deserved to be happy for a change.

"You seem to be extremely fertile for an old man." Derek joked.

"I'm not old." Mark huffed.

"He is not old." Lexie said simultaneously and all three broke out in laughter.

"Get out of here." Derek said with still twinkling eyes. "You are good to go, Lexie. Did you make the appointment with OB/GYN?"

"Yep, tomorrow afternoon." Lexie turned her head around and smiled at Mark. "Our first ultrasound. You are coming with me, right?"

"Of course. I wouldn't miss it for anything." Mark pulled her towards him and kissed her softly.

"Please, just get out of here already." Derek stated exasperatedly. "Before you two end up having sex in here."

"Yes, sir." Lexie replied sharply, a big grin on her face.

~M&L~

"I'm on my way, Lexie." Mark told her patiently, listening to her rambling on the other end of the phone. He had been to a conference on the other side of Seattle and was running a little late for Lexie's appointment though he still had enough time. He was talking to her on the phone since he'd climbed into his car, trying to calm her down. She seemed to almost explode with excitement.

"I don't want you to miss out on the first pictures of our baby, Mark."

"I won't. I'm almost there, okay? Only five minutes, seven minutes tops."

"You better be, Mark. I don't want to ..."

"What the fuck is that?" Mark suddenly shouted. "Fuck!"

"Mark?" Lexie asked before she could hear the screeching of brakes through the line and then the sound of a car bumping into something. "Mark?" She shouted frantically now, holding her phone in a death grip. "Mark, talk to me. What happened? Are you okay?" But she could hear nothing than the faint sound of street noise and steaming air. "Mark?" Lexie slumped down into a chair, her legs unable to hold her weight anymore. Horrible pictures of Mark trapped in the car were flashing through her brain. Bleeding, unconscious. "Oh my god! What happened?"

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><p><strong>See, told you! Actually I wanted to end the story with Lexie being pregnant but after reading the reviews for the last chapter I unleashed my muse and no surprise she went down the angst path. So buckle your seatbelts. It's going to be one hell of a ride with probably some cliffhangers along the way. :-)<strong>

**So, and now I go search for cover. Be gentle! I know I'm a mean, mean woman to end it on a cliffhanger but you all know that I LOVE them.**


	11. Chains

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**Okaaaay! Thanks to **_BekaRoo_** for mentioning I should write something about Molly. Well, it's not what she'd suggested exactly (actually completely different) but her review gave me the idea. I don't know what Molly's husband actually does in the military but let's just assume that he is a Navy Seal. I needed him to be one so that I can use another character some of you might recognize. ;-) I just find it easier to write characters when I have a picture in my head. Ohhh, and remember I'm still on the angst path. Just a little warning.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 11: Chains<strong>

"What do you mean, he wasn't there?" Lexie almost shouted at the officer standing in front of her.

"There was no sign of him, Dr. Grey." The police officer explained, clearly feeling uncomfortable. "We found his car in a side road. His car obviously crashed into something. The airbags were deployed but the car was empty. We called the surrounding hospitals. But nothing. There are no street cams in this street and we have no eye witnesses."

"You want to tell me that he'd just disappeared into thin air?" Lexie balled her hands into fists, gritting her teeth exasperatedly. "Maybe an alien abduction, huh? What kind of police officer are you?"

"Lexie, calm down. Please!" Meredith said softly, grabbing Lexie's shoulder to hold her back from attacking the officer physically.

"I don't want to calm down, Meredith. Mark is out there somewhere. Probably hurt and this ..." Lexie gulped hard, clearly struggling to keep her composure. " ... _person_ is telling me that they have no idea where he is."

"Lex?" Lexie turned around when she heard the voice of her other sister, Molly, and relief washed over her when she saw her brother-in-law right behind her. She had never been happier to see him than in just this moment. The police officers were apparently in over their heads and he was a Navy Seal after all. Maybe he could help find Mark.

"Molly! Eric! I'm so glad that you are both in town." Lexie exclaimed, before she wrapped her arms around her sister.

Meredith had called them and told them about the situation. Molly couldn't believe what had happened. Lexie just got back together with Mark. Lexie had sounded so happy on the phone when she had called to tell her that she was pregnant. Mark was the love of her life and it wasn't fair that these two didn't seem to catch a break.

After Lexie hugged Eric briefly, she turned around and started to yell at the officer again, getting more and more agitated with each passing minute. Molly pulled her husband aside, her eyes never leaving Lexie.

"Eric, can you help?" Molly asked quietly. "I know the police is looking for him. But I didn't marry a Navy Seal for nothing, did I? There has to be something you can do."

"Of course, Molly. Just let me make a call. I know exactly the person who can help us."

Eric turned around and walked into a quieter corner before he pulled out his cell and hit a number on his speed dial list. It only rang three times before one of his best friends picked up on the other end.

"McGarrett!"

"Steve, it's Eric. I need your help."

~M&L~

When Mark regained consciousness it took him almost a minute until he was able to realize what happened. His head pounded as if someone took a swing with a baseball bat at it and seemingly every bone in his body ached so nothing seemed to be broken. He could feel the burns the airbag had left on his face but when he wanted to examine them with his hands, he realized that he wasn't able to move. Turning his head slowly, he saw that his hands were chained to the table he was lying on. Lifting his feet confirmed that his feet were also bond. He was lying on the table like he was nailed on a cross and when the fog in his brain cleared, he could feel how uncomfortable this position was.

Closing his eyes, Mark tried to remember how the hell he got to this place. He could remember a van coming out of nowhere. He had been able to slow down the car considerably before he'd crashed into the side of the van, but the crash had still been hard enough to trigger the airbag and jerk him forward. He could remember that someone had yanked his door open and pulled him back. But before he even could focus on whoever had opened the door, a cloth had been pressed over his nose and mouth and he had smelled the distinctive odor of chloroform before he'd blacked out. He had no clue how he got here or why exactly he was here.

He could feel the burn of the seatbelt on his chest and when he looked down he saw that whoever kidnapped him had removed his shirt and he could see the bruise that crossed his chest. Lifting his head as far as possible he looked down his body, realizing that they had also removed his shoes and socks. Looking around he could only determine that he might be in some kind of basement. But except of the table he was lying on and another, smaller one, a few feet away nothing else was in the room.

He didn't like the feeling that rose in his chest. Maybe he had seen too much action movies but he didn't like the picture of himself chained to a table, hardly able to move. It looked way too much like a torture scene of a movie. Hearing footsteps, Mark turned his head to the door, not sure if he was glad that someone was coming or if he should dread it. When the door opened the brightness outside the door blinded him and he closed his eyes, waiting for the sound of the closing door, so that he could open his eyes again without needing to fear that his head would explode.

When the footsteps stopped right beside him, he opened his eyes carefully to look at his kidnapper. His eyes widened in shock and complete disbelief when he recognized the person standing in the light beam of a kerosene lamp.

"Mr. McGregor?"

"I see, you are awake. Excellent. I already feared that I used too much chloroform. But you are awake now, so we can get started. I need you to be conscious. Wouldn't be much fun if you wouldn't be able to appreciate what I'm doing."

Turning around McGregor put a leather bundle on the other table and Mark took in a sharp breath when he opened it and rolled it out on the table. A chill ran through his body and he closed his eyes again to speak a quick prayer. Seeing what had been in the bundle, made him fear for his life. The several knifes and screwdrivers that were lying on the table could only mean one thing. He didn't have to imagine a torture scene anymore. McGregor clearly came prepared to do exactly what Mark had feared the moment he had realized that he was chained to the table. He came prepared to torture him.

~M&L~

"I really appreciate that you could come, Steve." Eric said, giving Steve a quick hug.

"Of course I came." Steve replied. "You would do the same for me."

"I would. But still, thank you."

"So fill me in. I read your email on the plane but walk me through it one more time, will you?"

"Dr. Mark Sloan got abducted on his way to the hospital." Eric said with a calm voice, his Seal training helping him to stay focused even though his wife and sister-in-law where near a mental breakdown by now. "Unfortunately the police has still no idea what happened. He talked to his girlfriend, Dr. Lexie Grey, on the phone and the only thing she could hear where his car crashing into something. I know it's not much. But I know _you_, Steve. If anyone can find him, it's you."

"I'll give my best. Can I talk to the girlfriend?"

"Yeah, sure." Steve turned around to walk towards the two women at the other end of the room, but Eric's hand on his arm stopped him. "But Steve!"

"Yeah?"

"Be gentle, okay." Eric said. "She is pregnant and we don't want to upset her more than necessary."

Steve could see the worry edged into the wrinkles around his eyes. Yes, Eric was a Navy Seal but that didn't mean that you could stay completely unaffected when someone you know had been abducted.

"Steve!" Molly rushed towards him and wrapped her arms around him to give him a firm hug. "I'm so glad that you came."

"Anytime, Molly!" Steve hugged her back, his eyes already traveling to the brunette woman who was sitting only a few feet away. Leaving his arms, Molly turned around and pulled him towards her sister.

"Lexie?" Molly addressed Lexie softly. "I want you to meet someone who can help us, okay?"

Lexie looked up with tired, red rimmed eyes. "Of course." She stood up shakily and Steve saw how her hand immediately went to her stomach in an unconscious, protective gesture.

"This is a good friend of us, Lexie. Lieutanant Commander Steve McGarrett." Molly said. "He is a former Navy Seal and is currently leading a special police force in Hawaii."

"Hello, Dr. Grey." Steve said quietly, trying to not agitate her even more. "But I'm here on vacation and not officially on an investigation. So please call me Steve."

"I'm Lexie." Lexie shook his hand and one look in his eyes already made her feel slightly better. Somehow he radiated confidence, telling her he had to be very good at his job and they could need any help they can get. To have two Navy Seals searching for Mark could definitely not hurt. "Thank you, Steve. Thank you for your help."

"Can I ask you some questions?" Steve asked while he led Lexie back to the seats so that they could sit down.

"Of course." Lexie replied.

"What specialty is your boyfriend working in?"

"Plastics."

"Any law suits or unhappy patients?" Steve knew that it was very likely that Mark had been kidnapped because of his profession. Either because of someone he had treated or because the kidnappers needed his abilities as a surgeon.

"Not that I'm aware of." Lexie replied softly. "But you might wanna ask Dr. Derek Shepherd. He is a long-time friend of Mark. Maybe he knows something."

"Any threatening e-mails, late night phone calls, stuff like that?"

"No, nothing."

"I'm gonna go and talk to Dr. Shepherd first before I will talk to the police. But I might have more questions later?" Steve explained.

"I'll be here."

~M&L~

"You killed her." McGregor shouted, his face only a few inches away from Mark's.

"She died of a complication we couldn't predict." Mark replied, trying to stay calm.

"You convinced her to have breast implants. You did that. You made her change her appearance because you wanted her money." McGregor dug his fingers in his biceps, shaking him furiously.

"I didn't force her into anything. She wanted the implants."

McGregor's eyes suddenly glazed over and his gaze drifted to the wall, his fingers drumming on the table. He didn't react to Mark's argument, his mind obviously occupied with something else. When his gaze returned to Mark, the look in his eyes made Mark shudder.

"You know what." McGregor grinned happily. "At first I will mess up your pretty face a little bit and then I will continue with the rest of your body. When they find you they will know in how much pain you were in before I finally decided to kill you. And believe me, I will enjoy every second of it. You killed my little girl."

Mark didn't know what to do. Judging by the look in his eyes, McGregor was completely crazy. He truly believed that Mark had killed his daughter but Mark was one hundred percent certain that it hadn't been his fault. She had a rare blood condition. She died because of an unpredictable reaction to the anesthesia. She would have died in any operation.

But McGregor was determined to make him pay for the loss of his daughter and Mark had to blink away tears when he realized that he might never see Lexie again. Turning his head away from his torturer he bit on his lip, not wanting to let McGregor see any weakness. Mark's head jerked back when he heard the hiss of gas and his eyes widened in horror when McGregor ignited a Bunsen burner, taking one of the screwdrivers to hold it into the flame. When the iron glowed orange, McGregor turned around to Mark with a crazy smile on his face, the screwdriver firmly in his hand.

"Shall we get started?" McGregor asked with in an eery voice, before he began to chuckle uncontrollably and Mark lost all hope that he could reason with him. He could only hope that they would leave no stone unturned to find him. He knew they would find him eventually. He just hoped that they wouldn't be too late.

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><p><strong>I've told you this is going to be angsty. :-)<strong>

**So did I shock you all with what happened to Mark? Did you expect anything like this? Tell me by hitting the button below.**


	12. Making it out alive

**Thanks for the reviews! You've pushed me over the 100 mark with your reviews to the last chapter and I feel honored that so much of you enjoy this story.  
><strong>

**I'm sorry that it took me so long to update but watching the show right now is pure torture and I was afraid that I would kill off Mark because I'm so pissed off with what Shonda is giving us, actually not giving us, on screen. I'm sure no one of you would want Mark to die.**

**But my hubby is away for a few hours and I need to make good use of his absence (LOL) so I'd plugged in the **_Buffy_** soundtrack to get me in the right mood for this fic and started writing. **

**Ohh, and I really argued with myself how much I actually want to tell you about the whole McGregor torturing Mark. But well, I'm an angst fan, so if anyone isn't comfortable with reading torture scenes you should skip the Mark parts of this chapter. I admit it's a little ugly to imagine Mark in this kind of pain. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 12: Make it out alive<strong>

"Anything?" Eric asked quietly. He'd spotted Steve standing against the wall, talking vividly on the phone and approached him.

"Not much. Derek gave me some names we should check out. Discontent patients, pissed off family members." Steve replied calmly, pushing the phone in the back pocket of his pants.

He hated this stage of the investigation. Where he was bound to keep his patience. He was more of a 'punch first ask questions later' kind of guy. But he'd learned that being in law enforcement he'd attained better results if he'd kept his temper. Not to mention that he could only act on impulse as long as the old governor had been alive, giving him full diplomatic immunity, hence giving him a free pass to do whatever he wanted. That had changed the moment the new governor took over the reigns. He'd learned from his mistakes.

"You're sure it has to do with him being a doctor?" Eric asked, his brows drawn together, clearly contemplating what was going on in Steve's mind. Steve had to smile despite the sad circumstances. Eric had always been that way, trying to see the other side. Trying to get into the mind of other people. It was the main reason why he was such a damn good Seal.

"It's the most logical explanation, so I'm rolling with it." Steve tried to explain. "Did you pull the strings on your side?"

"Yeah, I've talked to a few people."

"I need the full cooperation of the local police." Steve told him. "We need all the help we can get if we want to get him back alive."

"So you think we need to consider the possibility that he might not make it out alive?"

Steve could hear the fear in his voice. Eric might not know his sister-in-law very well due to him being out of the country most of the year, but he clearly loved his wife and therefore was concerned about her sister, but he needed to remind him of the reality.

"Eric, you know better than anyone that in these kind of cases the life of the victim is always in danger." Steve said, seeing the realization dawning in Eric's eyes. He could pinpoint the exact moment when his Seal training kicked in and buried his emotional side for the time being. "He or she clearly had planned to abduct him. The lack of finger prints, the abduction going down in an almost empty street … it all points into the direction of this being someone who's clearly on a mission. I don't like the gut feeling this causes me. We need to move fast."

"Steve, we have to find him alive." Eric stated calmly, still struggling with being a Seal, therefore having to be all tough and unaffected by any emotions, but also trying to protect his family. "I don't know if she can take it if she loses him." Eric's gaze returned to the women sitting at the other end of the floor.

"I haven't even met this guy, but I can see how much she loves him." Steve looked at the woman whose boyfriend they were trying to find. He'd seen a lot of devastated women, so by now he could tell if the love was real or if they only put up a facade to please other people and this love was real. "We are gonna find him, Eric."

"But in time?"

"You know I can't promise you anything. The only thing I can do, is give my best."

"And I'll give mine. It has to be enough."

"Steve?" A shaky voice came from behind and Steve turned around to find Lexie standing directly behind them. He hoped she hadn't overheard him telling Eric that he couldn't promise anything. "Any news?"

"We have a few good leads we can pursue." Steve replied, voicing it purposely vague. "Nothing concrete yet, but we're working on it."

"So we are not any closer to finding him?" Lexie asked, her voice shaking slightly.

"I know it's hard, Lexie." Steve admired her attitude. She was holding up better than he would have expected. He could imagine being pregnant already threw her, with all the hormones going wild in her body, but she acted surprisingly calm. Maybe being a doctor helped her to stay calm.

"I just want him to be safe. I …." Lexie gulped hard, the tears threatening to fall again. "I need him to be safe, Steve."

"We'll do anything we can!"

"I know." Lexie replied quietly, but Steve could see in her eyes that she was well aware that the chances to find her boyfriend alive would decline rapidly the more time had passed and he couldn't do anything to make it easier for her than find Mark in time.

~M&L~

"It took me months to research how you can inflict maximum pain without causing your victim to lose consciousness. You know, drawing out the pain until it becomes excruciating. You can't imagine how much you can learn on the net about such things. They even show diagrams to make sure you don't hit the femoral artery when you stab someone in the leg. We don't want you to bleed to death before I'm finished with you, do we?"

Cold sweat broke out over Mark's whole body. The psychopaths who still kept some resemblance of normal thinking were the worse. McGregor clearly knew what he was doing and Mark didn't like it one bit. Women came to him because they felt ugly. It didn't matter if they were ugly or not. They weren't comfortable with their own bodies. The only thing he tried to do was help them.

"I've changed my mind. I'm starting with your legs. I will save your face for later and believe me I'm going to enjoy messing it up. Unfortunately you won't survive to see the reactions of people after I've made you a monster. No woman would stand to look you in the face and you wouldn't be able to repair it yourself. That would be kind of satisfying. A plastic surgeon who has a face like a monster. What a pity that it can't happen."

Mark bit his tongue to prevent himself of speaking. He couldn't reach McGregor anyway. Nothing he would say would change his mind. He can only hope, since McGregor seemed to love hearing his own voice, that the time he would spend talking would reduce the time he could spend damaging his body.

Of course Mark was proud of his body. He knew he was a good looking man and that women appreciated his physiques. But it wasn't the thought of McGregor turning him into a monster that scared him most. It was the thought that he would never see his unborn child.

"Ohh, now I need to heat up the screwdriver again. I got a little distracted, imaging everything I can do to you. Wait a sec. It'll only take a minute to reheat it."

Mark couldn't stop looking at the top of the screwdriver being hold into the flames. If he could forget the purpose it would be kind of an amazing picture. The metal glowing in the flame.

"Okay, I think it's fine now."

McGregor turned around again, an eery glance in his eyes, and he lowered the glowing screwdriver towards Mark's leg. Mark could feel the heat through his jeans and tried to scoot away but of course he was tied down so tightly that he could hardly move a muscle. There was no chance that he could avoid the screwdriver, so he gritted his teeth, his eyes still glued to the screwdriver, trying to prepare himself for the moment the screwdriver would burn into his flesh.

"Ahhh, I'm going to like this. Very much." McGregor said, when he saw Mark's jaw tighten.

McGregor lowered the screwdriver even more and Mark could smell the burned fabric of his pants only a second before the glowing metal touched his flesh. Even though he'd intended to make no sound at all, even though he didn't want to give McGregor any more satisfaction, he couldn't stop the scream that pushed out of his throat when McGregor buried the screwdriver into his thigh.

~M&L~

"Okay, Steve. The local police assured us complete cooperation. Where do you wanna start?" Eric said after he'd spent an hour on the phone.

"I tried to narrow it down to the three most promising leads." Steve replied. "Give the police officer in charge the list and they should try to find family members we can interview. Hopefully one of the three suspects is the actual perpetrator."

"And if not?"

"We'll keep looking until we find him."

"So you think it's a man?" Eric asked surprised, knowing that Steve wasn't the man to make assumptions without basing them on solid facts.

"It's just a gut feeling. But woman tend to act more out of impulse, not planning an attack. If a woman would have been unsatisfied with how her boobs turned out, it would have been more likely that she'd stormed into the hospital and just stabbed him right then and there. But that doesn't mean it _has_ to be a man. But personal attacks that are planned out like that are mostly executed by men. Men tend to attack random people when they are in a rage. Mostly people with no connection to the actual cause of their rage. Like all these school shooters. Ninety-nine percent of them are male."

"But we can't rule out women?"

"No, not at this point of the investigation."

"What should I tell Lexie?" Eric asked, his concern for his sister-in-law written all over his face.

"That I won't stop until I've found the one who has abducted her boyfriend."

~M&L~

"What if they don't find him?" Lexie asked, pressing her hands against her thighs to stop the shaking.

"It doesn't help to think about the what if's, Lexie." Meredith replied calmly, putting her hands over Lexie's.

"But what should I do otherwise. Meredith, I have to think about the possibility that he is not coming back." Lexie's voice almost broke over the last words, but she only inhaled a deep breath, not willing to break down.

"Let's just stay positive here."

"I know you are here to keep me from falling apart." Lexie said quietly, looking up into Meredith's face. "And I appreciate it. But it doesn't change the fact that Mark had been abducted and we have no clue why or where he's held captive. So I do appreciate your attempts to make it easier but it's not gonna work. The love of my life is out there somewhere, probably in pain, and I can do nothing to help him."

"I know, Lexie." Meredith squeezed her hand. "I've been there. I know how it feels to think that the love of your live might not gonna make it."

"I'm sorry, Meredith." Lexie said compassionately. "This brings up some bad memories for you. I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about." Meredith said reassuringly. "Derek made it and not a day goes by without me thanking god that he didn't take him away from me. But it's in the past. I'm here for you, Lexie. I know how much you love him. I was there. Right from the beginning. I know."

"Did I ever thank you for choosing to like me despite the unfortunate circumstances?" Lexie asked softly.

"What do you mean?" Meredith asked confused.

"That you've decided that being my half-sister isn't that bad?"

"Ohh, you are talking about the fact that I'd made your life a living hell when I first met you?" Meredith lips curved into a small smile.

"But you've changed your mind and I don't know what I would do without Derek and you in my life." Lexie replied seriously, wanting to make clear how much she appreciated them being there for her in her time of need.

"We are happy to be there, Lexie. Everything you need."

"I know." Lexie paused briefly, squeezing Meredith's hand. "Thank you."

~M&L~

Mark's thigh burned like fire, but apparently McGregor's research had been proven to be correct. He didn't pass out. He could feel every single cell in his thigh screaming out in pain. The hole the screwdriver burnt in his leg twitched and pounded like crazy. At least the fact that it had glowed should mean that all bacterias had been erased from the metal but that still left the bacterias on his pants. He could swear that he already felt the first signs of infection even though he knew that it would take a few more hours until his immune system would kick in to fight against the intruders.

McGregor had decided to prolong the torture. After he'd plunged the screwdriver into his thigh he'd twirled it slowly to enhance the pain before he removed it inch by inch so that Mark could feel every single scratch on the metal. McGregor had grunted satisfied when he'd seen that the wound had hardly bled, telling him that he'd driven the screwdriver into Mark's thigh at the right angle so that he hadn't hurt any major blood vessels. He'd applied a quick pressure on the wound, that had made Mark cringe in agony, to make sure that the blood vessels were already closing up again before he'd straightened himself and patted Mark's cheek.

He'd left, telling him that he needed to make dinner to strengthen himself before he could come back. Mark couldn't imagine how he should get through more pain. His thigh already sent pain through his whole body and not being able to move his leg into a more comfortable position made it worse.

He would do anything for a gulp of water but he wouldn't ask for it. He would rather die than beg for anything. Considering that McGregor seemed to want him alive for quiet a time so he could torture him even more, he was sure he would give him enough water to survive as long as he wanted him to live.

Mark tried to will his mind away from the pain. Tried to think about Lexie. Tried to think only about them making love. Being a doctor he knew that the mind had a big influence on whether or not a patient lived or died. Maybe it could be also helpful with pain.

But the moment the door suddenly opened, every attempt of Mark shutting out the pain vanished in a heart beat. McGregor was back and judging from his smile he was ready to inflict more pain. McGregor stepped slowly forward, his fingers caressing the knives that were displayed on the table.

"I know that scalpel wounds don't cause much pain so I'll use a rippled knife. It'll cause more pain and we all know that's exactly what I want to achieve."

Mark's gaze didn't leave McGregor's fingers that stroked fondly over one of the knives before he took it in his hand.

"I've decided that giving you some lacerations on your arms might enhance the pain even more, because it might give you a better impression of how much it's going to hurt when I use the knife on your face."

Mark's eyes went wide when McGregor pressed the knife on his bicep without harming him in any way. McGregor knew exactly how to enhance the physical pain and the psychological pain. Mark already held his breath, waiting for the pain to cut through his arm. But McGregor chose to press his hand against his thigh first and Mark groaned out loudly when the pain shot through his whole body.

But before he could even recover from the pain that raced through his thigh, McGregor pressed the knife into his bicep and dragged it from his shoulder down to his elbow. He didn't cut deep but Mark could feel every inch of the cut. It burned like hell and with the pounding in his thigh the pain almost became unbearable. He screamed like a little girl and hated himself for being that vulnerable. He didn't want to imagine what McGregor would do to him in the next few hours. The only thought that helped him through all of the torture was Lexie waiting for him. Waiting for him to make it out alive.

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><p><strong>Just so you know. A scalpel really doesn't cause much pain. I cut myself in the thumb with a scalpel once. It was sterile and it was only superficial but it didn't hurt. I only realized that I cut myself because it bled like crazy. I needed three stitches and I still have the scar to prove it. Believe me, a paper cut hurt much more. I know this sounds strange but it's true. I just thought you might find this interesting. <strong>

**So, click the button below and tell me what you think about this chapter. You know I love to read your reviews. :-)**


	13. The light at the end of the tunnel

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**I know it's been a while and I'm sorry that it took me so long to update, but I'm at a very intense point of the story right now and I needed some time to get back to this dark place again. But I thought I should get it out of my system before the last three eps air.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 13: The light at the end of the tunnel<strong>

"Steve, tell me you've got something." Eric grabbed his arm and pulled him into a corner. Steve had been interviewing suspects all day long at the police department and Eric hoped that he'd found a lead.

"I've got something." Steve said calmly and began to fill him in. "Almost all of the suspects checked out apart from one. We've interviewed his ex-wife because we couldn't find him."

"What is the connection?"

"Mark operated on their daughter. She died of complications during surgery. She had a rare blood condition and putting her under anesthesia led to her death. The mother told me that it had been a shock but that she'd understood that it wasn't Mark's fault, but her husband is a whole other story. She said, he got obsessed with the death of their daughter so that she finally couldn't live with him anymore and filed for divorce. When I ask her if she can imagine her ex-husband abducting Mark, she told me that it's quite possible. The police is checking his credit card records of the last couple of days as we speak. I hope we find a clue where he is right now and hopefully Mark's location."

Steve hold up his hand as his phone rang to signal Eric that he needed to take the call. Steve only gave one-syllable answers but Eric could see him straighten up as the adrenaline shot through Steve's body. They'd found something.

"What is it?" Eric asked impatiently when Steve disconnected the call. "Where do we need to go?"

"We?" Steve raised an eye brow in question.

"I'm with you." Eric stated firmly. "You know that, Steve."

"It was hard enough to convince the local police to let me on the case. You have no jurisdiction. You can't arrest someone."

"Actually, I can. I called in some more favors. I'm in, Steve. Stop arguing. I'm not gonna sit here and watch my wife and Lexie, knowing that I could help find Mark and rescue him."

"You are right, Eric. It might be of advantage that I know your every move." Steve looked at him thoughtfully. "Okay. Let's do this. Like old times, right?"

"Like old times. Hooyah." Eric spoke quietly, raising his fist.

"Hooyah." Steve replied, bumping his fist against Eric's.

~M&L~

Mark was delirious. His whole body screamed with pain and the liquid fire of a fever raced through his body. He was just glad that for some unknown reason McGregor hadn't touched his face yet, though he hadn't spared the rest of his body.

Mark had lost track of time a while ago. He didn't know if it was day or night or for how long he was down here with a man who apparently drew great pleasure out of torturing him.

Mark licked his dry lips, taking in a shaky breath. He didn't want to move, because no matter how carefully he tried to stretch his muscles all hell broke loose in his body every time.

His thigh and upper arm pounded in the beat of his heart, the wounds were burning like hell. His chest was crisscrossed with superficial cuts that hadn't bled much but increased the pain even more. The worst was his hand but he thanked God that McGregor had decided to take his left hand. He wasn't an orthopedic surgeon so he wasn't entirely sure, but he thought that his forefinger was a clean break and shouldn't make him any problems if he ever got out of here alive. His middle finger was another story. When he turned his head he could see the bone sticking out of his flesh and it felt like the upper half of it was smashed to pieces. He could just hope that Callie would be able to repair the damage.

He'd lost conscience when McGregor had smashed a hammer on it, the pain too much to bear. It wasn't better now, but Mark refused to give up hope. He could make it. McGregor had been gone for a few hours now, after he'd given him just enough to drink so that he wouldn't die of thirst. He hadn't eaten anything since he'd been in this hell hole, but he doubted that he would keep it down anyway.

He had already thrown up twice, had twisted his head as far as he could so that he wouldn't choke on his own vomit. He could smell it beside his head, he could smell his whole body. He didn't know how long he could make it, how long it would take until his body would shut down. But every time he was close to giving up, Lexie's face appeared in his mind and he refused to stop fighting.

He would fight for his live as long as he was able to. He needed to get back to her. He needed to get back to their child.

~M&L~

"How is she?" Molly asked quietly, approaching Meredith who sat beside the hospital bed.

They had finally convinced Lexie that she needed to rest. If not for her then for the baby. Lexie hadn't left the hospital since Mark went missing, but at least she'd lain down a few hours ago and the pure exhaustion had overwhelmed her and she'd fallen asleep.

"She is okay. She is actually asleep for two hours now." Meredith spoke in a low voice so she wouldn't wake up Lexie.

"I never thanked you."

"For what?"

"Letting her be a part of your life." Molly said. "She was so excited when she found out that we have a half-sister. She couldn't wait to meet you."

"I didn't make it easy for her."

"Well, it was understandable considering that our father left you when you were a child."

"It wasn't her fault. But I'd made her feel as if it was at first." Meredith said quietly.

"But you came around." Molly insisted. "It's hard not to like her."

"I know. She just tried over and over again until I folded." Meredith chuckled slightly.

"Meredith, can I ask you something?" Molly said after a few minutes of silence.

"Sure."

"Mark, is he ...?" Molly looked down at her sister who was lying curled up in bed, her brows drawn together, clearly agitated even though she was asleep. "Is he the one?"

"The one?"

"If ... if they don't find him ... is she ever going to get over it?"

"No, she won't get over it." Meredith replied. "He is the love of her life and she is his. We can only hope that they find him in time and if not ... the only thing we could do then is to be there for her."

"I know."

"Molly, Meredith." Eric rushed into the room, slowing down when he saw that Lexie was asleep. "We may have found him."

"Really?"

"I think you should wake her up. We don't know anything concrete right now, but we do have a location where we assume Mark is kept. We are on our way to check it out."

"Be careful, Eric."

"I will." Eric leaned down and gave Molly a brief kiss, squeezing Meredith's shoulder encouragingly before he rushed out of the room again.

Meredith leaned forward, shaking Lexie slightly. She knew that Lexie needed the rest but she would be furious if they wouldn't tell her immediately. After Meredith called her name for several times, Lexie opened her eyes slowly. The big dark circles under her eyes made her look like a ghost and Lexie cleared her throat several times before she was able to speak.

"What is it?" Lexie asked hoarsely.

"They might have found Mark."

~M&L~

The warehouse was in a business district and at this hour of the night it was eerily quiet. Steve turned his head, signaling Eric beside him that they would go in through the front door, while he sent the rest of the SWAT team to the back of the building.

They'd spotted two people in the basement through thermal imagining. One of them in a lying position. It looked like they had found the right place.

Steve looked at Eric, waiting for his affirmative nod that he was ready. Pulling the night vision goggles down, Eric and he slipped through the door. They moved as one unit, as if it hadn't been years since they last had been on a mission together.

When they reached the middle of the large store room, Eric tipped him on the shoulder, pointing to the left and Steve could make out the door that led to the basement. Steve turned around to Eric and his hand made a cutting motion over his throat, telling him that they needed to shut off the communication with the rest of the team, before he opened the door.

~M&L~

When Mark heard the door open, he needed to stifle a groan. McGregor was back and judging by the smile on his face, he was looking forward to the next round of torture. Sweat broke out on Mark's forehead and his muscles began to tremble.

"Well, well, well." McGregor chuckled, walking slowly towards Mark, his right hand wrapped around a knife. "Look at that. Not so handsome anymore, huh?"

McGregor leaned forward and brushed his fingers over Mark's chest. Mark gritted his teeth as McGregor opened the cuts again and blood trickled down his chest.

"Should we get started with your face?" Mark turned his head, not able to look McGregor in the eyes.

If he would have looked at him, he would have seen that McGregor reached for his injured hand, but looking in the other direction the pain hit him completely unexpected when McGregor pressed his fingers against his broken middle finger. The pain shot through his whole body, a scream broke out of his mouth that sounded more like an animal than human. McGregor increased the pressure even more and Mark's throat became dry as the screams tore at his flesh.

~M&L~

The moment Steve opened the door a scream of pain cut through the silence of the warehouse and Steve stopped for a second, locking eyes with Eric. They needed to move faster. They both ran towards the screams as fast as they could without making too much sound, though Steve doubted that you could hear their approach over the screams that shot goose bumps over Steve's body. He'd heard those screams before. Mark was getting tortured and he could just hope that they would get to him fast enough.

As they reached the door the screams had stopped and the only thing they could hear were heavy gasps as someone tried to get enough air into his lungs. Steve turned the doorknob carefully until the door opened and Eric counted to three with his fingers. Steve's hand tightened around his gun and when Eric lowered his third finger they both burst through the door.

"Police!" Steve shouted. "Put your weapon down!"

"No! No! No!" McGregor swirled around, shaking his head vehemently. "I'm not finished with him. We've just gotten started."

"Put your weapon down!" Steve spoke with an ice cold voice.

He could see Mark lying on a table behind McGregor, his whole body covered in blood, though it looked like it had already dried. He'd assessed the situation in one second, realizing that Mark wasn't in immediate danger and his concentration settled on the man who stood before him, clutching a knife in his hand.

"For the last time. Put your weapon down!"

"No, no, no! You've ruined everything." McGregor whined, taking a step towards Steve and Steve took the shot, the bullet piercing through McGregor's shoulder. But he still moved towards Steve, so he lowered his gun and shot McGregor in the leg and McGregor cried out, slumping over, the knife falling out of his grasp. Steve rushed forward, pushing the knife away with his foot, holstering his gun after he'd made sure that Eric had his gun still pointed at McGregor. Leaning down he jerked McGregor's arms backwards, taking the handcuffs out of his vest.

"Anton McGregor, you're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do can and will be held against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you." Steve rattled through the Miranda rights while he cuffed McGregor's hands behind his back. "Get up, you scumbag."

"Eric, is he okay?"

"Can't say." Eric spoke, looking at Mark's face, drenched in sweat, his eyes pressed shut while he apparently still fought against the pain. "We have to get him out of here."

"McGarrett here. We're clear. We got him. Send the EMT's in."

"Hey, Mark." Eric spoke softly.

"Eric?" Mark asked hoarsely, opening his eyes slowly.

"Yep, it's me."

"Glad to see you."

"Hang in there. The EMT's are here any second. Okay?"

"Okay."

~M&L~

"Oh my god, Mark. Are you ... is he okay?" Lexie's eyes flew over his body, trying to assess all of his injuries and she took in a sharp breath. "Scratch that. I can see that he is not okay. But how are his vitals?" As Lexie put her hand carefully on Mark's arm she felt his skin hot under her fingers. "He is burning up. Did you already start an I.V.?"

"Lex?" Mark's voice was barely audible as he rasped her name.

"Mark, hey." Lexie leaned down, speaking softly. "How are you feeling? Everything is going to be okay. You just relax and let them do their work, okay?"

"Lex, ..." Mark licked his chapped lips, taking in a careful breath, his eyes glued to hers. "I'm okay. I ... I'm okay. I ... I'm alive." As if only saying these few words had been too much of an effort his eyes fluttered and closed.

"You can't imagine how happy I am that you are. I was scared that I would never see you again." Lexie brushed her fingers over his forehead, as her gaze suddenly fell on his hand. "Oh my god, your hand! Callie?"

"I'm right here, Lexie." Callie stepped beside the gurney, furrowing her brows when she took a first look at Mark's hand.

"Owen?" Lexie turned around, her eyes roaming the emergency room, searching for the trauma surgeon. A relieved breath whooshed out of her, as she saw him rushing towards them. "I ... Please ..."

"I know." Owen replied quietly, leaning over the gurney, his eyes scanning over Mark's body. "I'll take care of him."

"Derek, can you ..." Lexie looked up, searching the eyes of her brother-in-law. She knew she couldn't go into the trauma room with Mark. She knew they needed the space and they wouldn't let her help anyway. So she wanted to make sure that at least Derek would be in there with him.

"I'll go with him." Derek said. "I'll keep you updated, okay?"

"Okay." Lexie leaned over the gurney, giving Mark a brief kiss on his forehead before she whispered. "You know they are the best surgeons, so you just concentrate on yourself right now. I and the baby are fine. Now that we have you back."

Mark opened his eyes slowly but all he was able to do was give her an almost invisible nod before they wheeled the gurney away. Lexie followed them with her eyes until the door closed behind them before she turned around and walked towards Eric, wrapping her arms around him.

"Thank you, Eric. Thank you so much."

"You're welcome." Eric replied, giving her a firm hug before Lexie pulled away, turning around to Steve who stood a few steps away.

"Steve, I can't thank you enough for what you've done." Lexie extended her hand.

"I'm glad I could help." Steve said honestly, shaking her outstretched hand.

"I ... I think I need to sit down." Lexie said quietly, reaching for a chair and slumped into it, putting her elbows on her knees.

Meredith sat down beside her, rubbing her hand over Lexie's back. Lexie looked aimlessly on the ground for a minute before her body suddenly began to shake under Meredith's fingers and a sob escaped Lexie's throat.

"Oh, Lexie!" Meredith sighed, pulling her up and Lexie turned her head, leaning it against Meredith's shoulder as the tension rushed out of her. She'd kept it together as long as she could, but now that Mark was back and she'd even spoken to him, she just broke down. She'd almost lost hope that she would see him again. But he was back and he was alive. He would make it. Nothing else mattered.


	14. The little bundle

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**I'm sorry. It's been ages since I last updated this. There are still some chapters left for this story and I will never leave a story unfinished. So, since it's been so long since the last chapter here a short recap.**

_Mark had been kidnapped by Anton McGregor, who had been blaming him for the death of his daughter who died on Mark's operating table. He had been torturing Mark with the intent to kill him slowly and painfully but Eric and Steve were able to find and rescue him in time. Mark has an infected wound in his thigh where McGregor had stabbed him with a screwdriver, a long cut along his right upper arm and several cuts on his torso. The forefinger of his left hand is broken and the middle finger badly smashed. Lexie had had a small break down when they brought Mark into the hospital as the relief had washed over her that the father of her child was still alive. _

**Okay, on with the story now. Just for your information, I'm catapulting us into the future considering Callie's treatment of Mark's finger. We might be able to do something like that in the future but I don't think that the current research is anywhere near that right now. But well, this is fictionland, right? :-) I hope you enjoy! Oh, and this is the second update today. Am I good, or what? LOL.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 14: The little bundle <strong>

"Derek, how is he?" Lexie jumped up, almost running to her brother-in-law who had just stepped into the waiting area.

"We have it under control." Derek replied tiredly. "We've cleaned the stab wound and the cuts and we are pumping as much antibiotics and fluids into him as we can. But we need to talk to you about Mark's hand."

"We?"

"Callie should be here any second." Derek explained.

"Please, don't tell me he is gonna lose his finger." Lexie whispered.

"No." Derek reassured. "No. It's not that bad."

"What do you mean not that bad?" Lexie asked. "So it's still pretty bad?"

"You've seen it, Lexie." Derek told her and Lexie only nodded. It hadn't looked good, but she'd still hoped that it looked worse than it actually was. Derek squeezed her shoulder reassuringly and a few seconds later Callie emerged out of the operating area, approaching them.

"Did Derek fill you in already?"

"Not really." Lexie said. "Only that you two wanted to talk to me about Mark's hand."

"His forefinger is a clean break." Callie elaborated. "He should have no problem with it after the healing process is complete. But I need to make a decision about his middle finger. That's why we are here to talk to you."

"I ... We are not married, Callie." Lexie told her confused. "I'm not allowed to make any decisions. I'm not his medical proxy."

"Actually, you are." Derek interjected.

"What?" Lexie jerked her head around to Derek, a look of complete bafflement on her face.

"Didn't he tell you?" Derek asked surprised.

"No." Lexie replied quietly.

"Lexie, it's Mark." Callie said urgently. "It's his hand."

"I know, Callie." Lexie snapped back. "It's his freaking hand and he is a surgeon."

"Lexie, I know it's hard. How about I just tell you about the options first?"

Lexie only nodded, balling her hands into fists, well aware that Mark couldn't ball his hand into a fist right now and maybe he would never be able to bend his finger again. Callie led her to a chair, pressing her down to get her off her feet. Her worrying about Mark already put enough strain on her body. Standing around could harm the baby and neither Mark nor Lexie needed to deal with anything else right now than Mark's injuries.

Callie was glad that Lexie was a surgeon so she didn't need to simplify what she was telling her about the procedure she would chose as the number one option. There was a higher risk that his finger would end up being stiff for the rest of his life, but using normal techniques would mean that he probably would never be able again to work as a surgeon. Callie knew the procedure was highly experimental and sounded as if it came straight out of Sci-Fi movie. Essentially they would try to make a robotic finger.

"I know the new procedure is risky but it's the only way to give him a chance to recover fully." Callie explained. "He is a surgeon. He needs his hand. You know him better than anyone. Do you think we should choose the safer option, risking that he will never be a surgeon again or are we choosing the more risky way, hopefully retaining full mobility of his finger?"

"Why don't you ask him?"

"He is out, Lexie, and I need to operate now."

"I can't ... what if I made the wrong decision?" Lexie asked barely above a whisper. "He is gonna hate me."

"He is not gonna hate you." Derek assured her. "He loves you, Lexie."

"What would you do?" Lexie asked Callie.

"I'm not his friend right now." Callie replied. "I'm his surgeon. I need to stay as objective as I can."

"Callie, it's Mark!"

"Believe me. I know." Callie told her calmly. "You know what I would choose, Lexie. But you are his medical proxy. You have to make a decision."

"Do the risky surgery." Lexie said quietly. "I'm sure he would want it. Like you said he is a surgeon. Save his finger, Callie."

"Okay."

~M&L~

Lexie sat beside his bed, her hand resting on his uninjured hand. She waited for him to wake up out of the anesthesia. Watching his chest rise and fall just made her happy that he was still with her. Suddenly she heard him groan and he opened slowly his eyes.

"Welcome back." Lexie said quietly."

"I'm glad to be back." Mark replied hoarsely. "How are you?"

"You are asking me how I am? Mark, you are being ridiculous. You are the one you should be worrying about."

Mark gave her a shaky smile and stretched his body carefully, testing how bad it was.

"So clue me in." He whispered. "How bad is it?"

Mark's gaze fell to his hand, knowing that this injury was the worst and could end his career as a surgeon. Lexie squeezed his uninjured hand, waiting for his gaze to meet hers. "Callie told me from now on you are gonna be RoboSurgeon."

"RoboSurgeon?" Mark asked confused.

"Yeah, you know? Like RoboCop."

"That futuristic?"

"Pretty much." Lexie replied. "They reconstructed your finger, incorporating all the bone material they could use. But your finger is half titanium now."

"How does it work?"

"If everything works as planned and heals properly, you should be able to move it almost as if it hadn't been broken at all. Callie used flexible hinges to connect the titanium with your bones and Derek tried to restore all your nerves, using some artificial nerve tissue to repair the damage. It's highly experimental, so the outcome isn't established. But the desired result is that you'll regain full function of your finger."

"Okay." Mark replied quietly, turning his head away from her and Lexie got overwhelmed by a sudden guilt when she saw his reaction as a sign that she'd made the wrong decision.

"I'm sorry, Mark." Lexie spoke barely above a whisper, pulling her hand away from his, her gaze dropping down into her lap. "I've told them to do the surgery."

"No, no. It's fine." Mark raised his hand, hooking a finger under her chin to pull it up. "I know you made the right decision." As Mark saw the still doubtful look in her eyes, he reached for her hand, entwining his fingers with hers. "Lex, I'm a surgeon. I want to operate. I would have chosen this procedure, too."

"You would have?" Lexie asked him, the uncertainty still evident in her voice.

"Yes, I would have." Mark stated firmly. "You saved my career."

~M&L~

He'd send her home so that she could get some sleep for a few hours, eat properly and shower. Lexie didn't want to go but he played the baby card and she finally folded after he'd insisted that it couldn't be good for the baby. Now he was lying wide-eyed in his bed afraid to go to sleep. He had been knocked out by the anesthetic after the surgery so there hadn't been any nightmares, but when he closed his eyes now the numb pounding of his thigh reminded him of the basement he'd been in. He wouldn't admit it out loud but he was scared that he would go back to the horrors and pain in his dreams. He just hoped that the pain meds and sleeping pills they'd given him would numb not only the pain but his brain, too.

But they didn't help. Mark didn't know what time it was when he shot up in his bed, covered in cold sweat, his heart pounding wildly against his ribcage, gritting his teeth as the waves of pain radiated through his body. The smell of his own blood and vomit still stinging in his nostrils as if he was really back in the hellhole, McGregor's eery voice still ringing in his ear. Mark took in some deep breaths, trying to slow down his breathing, slumping back into the pillow. Turning on his side he stared out of the window, certain that he wouldn't go back to sleep any time soon.

~M&L~

"Why do I have to sit in a wheelchair?" Mark whined as Lexie pushed him down the corridor towards the OB/GYN department.

"Stop whining." Lexie huffed. "I'm only taking you with me to the ultrasound if you behave."

"If I behave?" Mark asked incredulously. "I freaking hate this thing."

"You can still hardly put any weight on your leg and I don't want you to collapse on the floor because it gave out under you. Do you want to come with me or not?"

"Of course I want to come with you."

Lexie smiled, happy about the usual banter between them. But she knew that he'd put up a front for her. The night nurses had told her that he had nightmares, waking up screaming, trashing around in his bed. She could see the dark shadows under his eyes and he'd lost a few pounds over the last couple of weeks.

She'd tried once to talk to him about it, but he'd refused to give her anything. He'd just told her that it would go away eventually, that he just needed to get out of the hospital and she didn't push him, thinking that he just might need some time. Having nightmares after what he'd been through was a normal reaction.

When they reached the exam room, Dr. Reilly already waited for them. "Dr. Grey, Dr. Sloan, let's take a look. Shall we?"

Lexie climbed up on the chair and pulled up her shirt and Mark stared with wonder at the bump that was clearly visible. He'd completely missed it with everything that had happened to him over the last weeks. First the abduction, then the surgery and the physical therapy he had to go through to get his strength back in his leg and trying to make his finger work again.

With awe he stretched out his hand, pressing it against her stomach. "I'm sorry, Lex."

Lexie looked at him confused, laying her hand over his. "What for?"

"For being so self-involved over the last few weeks." Mark replied quietly.

Lexie squeezed his hand, chuckling slightly. "Mark, it's not a big deal that you didn't realized that I'm getting fat."

"You are not getting fat." Mark said harshly, his fingers tightening on her stomach. "You are carrying a Sloan."

Lexie smiled broadly upon hearing this statement, as if carrying his baby meant that she was entitled to get fat. "I know that I'm carrying your baby, Mark."

Mark raised their entwined hands and pressed a kiss against hers, his eyes glued to hers until Dr. Reilly cleared her throat. "I'm ready."

Mark and Lexie both turned their heads towards the screen, looking excited at the pictures of their baby.

"Do you want to know the sex?" Dr. Reilly asked.

Mark looked quizzically at Lexie, waiting for her answer.

"I don't know." Lexie replied unsure. "Do you want to know?" She asked Mark.

"I don't care as long as it's healthy. I don't need to know the sex if you want to be surprised."

"No, I think I want to know."

Mark looked at Dr. Reilly and nodded his head. "So, we want to know if you can see it."

"Okay, let's see if the little one is cooperative." Dr. Reilly scooted over Lexie's stomach until she paused and said. "Here it is."

Mark and Lexie looked at her, waiting for her to reveal the sex of their child. Dr. Reilly smiled broadly when she saw the anxious faces in front of her, stating softly. "It looks like it's going to be a boy."

"A boy?" Lexie asked breathlessly and Dr. Reilly nodded.

"We are going to have a son?" Mark asked disbelievingly before his eyes searched Lexie's. "You are carrying our son?"

Tears welled up in her eyes as she saw the awe on Mark's face. "Yes, and you know what?"

Mark shook his head slightly, still not completely comprehending that the love of his life was carrying his son. Lexie smiled shyly, taking in a deep breath before she told him. "Is it weird that I'm happy that our child is going to be your first son?"

A big smile erupted on Mark's face and he replied quietly. "No, it's not weird." Laying his hand on her stomach again, he whispered. "Though it doesn't matter, Lex. I love you. No matter if it's a girl or a boy. It's our child."

"Carrying your child makes me the happiest woman on this planet. I don't know why I waited so long."

A lonely tear slipped down her cheek and Mark raised his hand to brush it away gently. "Lex, we'd agreed to stop dwelling on our past mistakes. We should focus on our future together. Focus on our child."

"Focus on our future?" Lexie asked softly. "I can do that."

"I know you can. You and me, Lex." Mark leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers before he whispered. "And the little bundle that will join us in a few months."

Lexie laid her hands on her stomach, whispering. "Our little bundle."

Mark leaned his forehead against hers, his hands resting on hers. "Our little bundle."

Forgotten were the nightmares, the abduction, everything they've been through together. Just now the only thing that mattered was the heart that was beating under their hands, the life they'd created together.


	15. A new beginning

**I said I have the intention to finish two of my stories while on vacation. Well, at least I got around to finish one. Yes, this is the last chapter of this story. Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 15: A new beginning<strong>

He was finally at home. He'd hoped that the nightmares would stop when he was out of the hospital but they didn't. So far he'd managed to hide it from Lexie, managed to not wake her up with his trashing around. He was afraid that he could hurt her. She or the baby.

His hand was getting better with every day. The prognosis was perfect. He would regain back complete ability of his fingers and hand. His body had healed, but his soul, his mind still tortured him every night. He'd talked to a psychiatrist, but it didn't help.

Leaning against the door frame he watched Lexie sleeping and a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. They would get married tomorrow. He'd insisted that they would at least go to the City Hall before the baby was born after Lexie told him that she intended to have the big wedding with the appropriate party when she was able to drink alcohol.

He'd understood perfectly and he didn't care how they got married as long as she was going to be his wife tomorrow. Tomorrow he would finally be able to put the wedding band on her finger, making her his wife. Finally.

~M&L~

He was standing in front of the window and Lexie could see at the stiffness of his body that he tried to stop his body from trembling. Another nightmare obviously. She slipped out of under the covers, walking slowly towards him, putting her hand between his shoulder blades. "Mark?"

He whirled around, his jaw clenched shut tightly, a wild expression in his eyes. "Come back to bed." Lexie whispered, stepping back surprised when his hand shot to hers, grabbing it painfully.

"I don't need your pity." Mark hissed. "I'm fine. Go back to bed."

Mark released her hand and stomped out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him and Lexie stared dumbfounded at the now closed door. They needed help. He needed help. He wasn't himself anymore.

~M&L~

"Lexie! What are you doing here?" Eric asked surprised, as he opened the door and saw Lexie standing on the other side.

"I need a favor, Eric." Lexie replied quietly.

"Why don't you come in first?" Eric opened the door wider, stepping back to let her in.

Lexie walked directly into the living room, slumping down on the couch. "Where is Molly?"

"Out on a walk with Laura." Eric said, watching her intently before he added. "What do you want to ask me?"

"It's … I know it's none of my business but I need to ask you." Lexie began, shifting nervously, kneading her hands. Licking her lips, she looked up and continued. "It's … I need to know for Mark."

"Sure. You can ask me anything." Eric told her. "You know that."

"While you were overseas ..." Lexie trailed off, not sure if she should ask the question.

"Yeah?"

"Did you ever get tortured?" Lexie blurted out before she could change her mind.

Eric looked at her for a few minutes, completely silent, before he sighed heavily, rubbing a hand over his face. "Promise me you'll never tell Molly."

"I promise." Lexie said softly.

"Molly doesn't know about it, though I'm sure she suspects something." Eric explained. "I've told her the scars were caused by splinters of an IED. She was pregnant with Laura when I was … when some terrorists had kept me as a prisoner. They knew they should keep it from Molly as long as they could if something like this would happen to me. I made Steve promise me."

"Steve was with you?"

"Yes. He was the one who led the rescue mission. They found me already after four days."

Lexie saw how Eric pressed his lips together, telling her more with this gesture than words could have. "But it wasn't fast enough."

"No." Eric confirmed. "They wanted information about the troops and they tried everything to get them."

Lexie could see the shadow crossing his eyes as he remembered and Lexie was sorry that she had to bring back those memories but she needed to know. "Did you have nightmares?"

"Still have them from time to time." Eric replied.

"How … how are you able to live with them?"

"Is it that bad?" Eric raised his eye brows quizzically and Lexie stared at him confused, so Eric added quietly. "With Mark?"

"He doesn't want to talk to me about it." Lexie told him quietly. "But I can see that it's eating him up."

"You want me to talk to him?"

"I … I just think it might help."

"I don't know, Lexie. I'm not a psychiatrist."

"Eric, please." Lexie pleaded, hoping that Eric was able to help Mark.

"You know what." Eric said determined. "Steve is coming this weekend. What about you are coming over for barbecue on Saturday?"

"So Steve, too?" Lexie asked softly.

"We are Navy Seals, Lex. There is hardly anyone amongst us who doesn't have scars. On their body and soul."

~M&L~

"There are never gonna go away, you know?" Eric spoke quietly, taking a sip of his beer bottle. They were sitting on the porch, enjoying a cool bottle of beer after they'd just filled their stomachs with tons of meat. Molly and Lexie was standing at the other end of the lawn, watching Laura on the swings.

Mark looked at him confused. "Excuse me?"

"The nightmares."

"Lexie talked to you." Mark said, knowing that only Lexie could have told him.

"She is worried." Eric explained.

"I know." Mark replied quietly.

"You learn to live with them and after a certain time you won't have them every night." Steve said, leaning against the balustrade, putting his beer down next to him.

Mark looked from Steve to Eric, seeing the understanding in their eyes. There was no pity, there were only trying to help him and he suddenly realized that they were probably speaking out of experience. They were Navy Seals after all.

"But how … how do I learn to live with them?"

"Take your wife!" Steve replied bluntly, grinning when he saw Mark's shocked face. "No joke, man. It's the best medicine. Forget yourself in her. Forget everything for a few minutes. It helps. Believe me."

Mark looked completely stunned and his gaze went to Eric, making Eric chuckle. "He is right, Mark. And when the little one is here. Talk to him."

"What?"

"I did it with Laura." Eric told him.

"What do you mean talk to him?"

"Tell him everything that is on your mind. He won't understand anything. He won't judge. Believe me, you are gonna feel better afterwards, after you've relieved your soul without having to fear that he will look at you with different eyes."

"That sounds insane."

"Maybe. But they are your anchor." Eric pointed towards Lexie, standing beside Molly, one hand pressed against the small of her back, the other hand laying on her pregnancy belly, a small smile on her face. "And they wanna help. So ..." Eric waited until Mark's gaze returned to him. "Let them help you."

~M&L~

Lexie awoke from his cold hands pressing against her face. She turned around and even in the darkness of the room she could see the haunted expression on his face. She didn't hear him but he must have had another nightmare. He didn't say anything, just pressed his lips against hers. He pulled her pants down, his fingers brushing tentatively over her nipples who responded immediately to his caresses, oversensitized due to her pregnancy. She didn't need to ask. She knew what he was doing. He needed her, needed to get lost in her and she didn't even hesitate as she took him in, giving him what he needed most. It was the only way she could help him. Reassuring him that they were still there. Both of them.

His head was lying on her chest, his breaths evened out as he slipped into sleep and Lexie was threading her fingers through his hair, rubbing softly over the frown between his brows until it disappeared, hoping that he could sleep through the rest of the night without having any more nightmares.

~M&L~

He was sitting on the floor, his knees were bent so that his son could lie comfortably against his thighs. He had had another nightmare, the first since the birth and he'd stood up and walked to the crib, stroking his finger gently over his son's cheek. He hadn't wanted to wake him but as if his son felt the sorrow of his father he had opened his eyes and stared at him, not crying, only gripping Mark's finger tightly and Mark had scooped him up, walking out of the room, settling down under the window, the moon bathing them both in its light. His son looked at him wide-eyed and Mark started to talk. He told him everything about the dream, told him about his fears and it seemed as if his son was listening intently. Eric had been right. It did help.

Lexie stepped quietly out of the room, spotting them immediately. She didn't walk over to them, realizing that they were sharing a special moment and as Mark turned his face slightly, she could see the tear streaks on his face, but she could also see the smile. She slipped back into the bed room without one of them noticing that she was even there. A few minutes later she felt the mattress shifting as Mark came back to bed and she turned around, locking eyes with him as he laid their son between them. Their hands met over the body of their child, Mark rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand while he watched his son's face. As he looked up into Lexie's eyes, Lexie could see the newfound freedom in them.

They'd been through a lot. But they were both alive and healthy, enjoying their little family life. Lexie squeezed his fingers, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "I love you, Mark Sloan."

Mark leaned over, pressing a kiss against her lips. "I love you too, Alexandra Sloan."

**The End**

"_I love you. _

_I am who I am because of you. _

_You are every reason, every hope, _

_and every dream I've ever had, _

_and no matter what happens to us in the future, _

_everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. _

_I will always be yours. " _

_The Notebook – Nicholas Spark_

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, this is it. The end of this story. Thank you so much to all of you, my dear readers, for reading and for all of your reviews. You're the best.<strong>

**No matter what happens in the future I will never stop loving Mark and Lexie. They are perfect for each other. **


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